Back To School

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's official - summer is almost over. This weekend at Wal-Mart, I was greeted by a huge wall of school supplies. The end is near.

In a way, I'm looking forward to the beginning of the school year. At the very least, it promises to lessen the frequency of the "I'm bored" speech I have to hear every day. Thousands of dollars worth of tvs, vcrs, dvd players, mp3 players, gaming consoles, toys, bikes, skateboards, rollerblades, sports equipment, on and on and on - and they're bored. All of them, sitting in their houses, driving their parents nuts with "I'm bored". Twenty-eight degrees, sun splitting the rocks, pool, trampoline, a dozen friends nearby, and "I'm bored". When I was nine, my parents sent us outside after breakfast and didn't see us again until supper, when they usually had to come looking for us. Kids these days, I don't know if they want us to dress up in clown costumes and entertain them all day, but they certainly don't seem to realize how lucky they are. My son didn't believe me when I told him that going for a walk was something us "old folk" used to do for fun. Perish the thought.

Anyway, as much as the prospect of school is relieving to me, there is one aspect that makes me cringe: packing my son's lunch.

At my house, we have a hot lunch. It's probably not fancy, it's probably not elaborate, but it's hot. Every now and then I make sandwiches, but usually it's Kraft Dinner, chicken noodle soup, hot dogs, or something of the like. When packing my son's lunch for school, I like to ensure that he eats something hot there too. Again, nothing fancy, but a can of ravioli, a pizza pocket, even leftover steak subs from supper. I would think that a school would try to accommodate students and parents in this pursuit.

But no. Now the rule is "no use of microwaves", no heating food at all. Last year, the first time I sent my son to school with a container of leftovers to be heated, it was returned with a note that said not to send something like that again, and that I owed the cafeteria $3.20 for the meal they gave him as a substitution. I was not pleased.

So that leaves me with two choices: no hot food, or buy from the cafeteria. The latter might be an option if it were a little cheaper, but show me someone who can afford to spend $20 per week on grease food, plus pay for snacks and drinks on top of that, PER CHILD, and I'll show you someone who doesn't realize how rich they actually are. I won't pay it, and I'm sure the majority of parents can't afford to pay it either.

The other option leaves me with a very limited menu of cold food. One day I sent him with a bag full of chunks of pepperoni and cheese, and he told me the cafeteria workers had suggested his mother send a more balanced, nutritious lunch. Nice. Again, I was not pleased.

And what's left? Ok, sandwiches.

Let's see...he's allergic to tuna, and doesn't like egg or chicken salad. Sliced ham, flakes of ham...maybe turkey if things are really desperate. And this is what he's supposed to eat every single day for hundreds of days? A sandwich made with meat that's been soaked in brine for weeks? He is not pleased, nor do I blame him.

When I was a kid, we took a peanut butter and jam sandwich to school every single day, and we didn't complain. I can say this loud and proud because every other kid had one as well. The flavor of jam might have varied a bit, from strawberry to raspberry perhaps, but that was about as exotic as it got.

But that was twenty years ago.

Now, lunch time at an elementary school is much different. My kids don't have PB&J every single day for lunch when they're at home, so I don't expect my son to eat it every single day at school either. But even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed. No peanut butter. No peanuts. No nuts of any kind. Nothing that has ever come into contact with anything resembling a nut. No peanut butter on toast in the morning for breakfast, as the smell of peanut butter on a child's breath is apparently harmful as well. No homemade peanut butter cookies, or any other cookie with walnuts, pecans, almonds.

I'm sure parents of children with peanut allergies think the peanut ban is a nessessary step for a school to take. And I know that peanut allergies can be very serious, if not deadly. I feel for these parents and children. But 1 child (maybe) in a school of 450 students, and a common household food is banished from our lives? It's not anthrax, it's peanut butter. It's not airborne, it's injested. If you're allergic, don't eat it. If your child is too young to take the necessary precautions, the teachers and staff should be responsible for ensuring the student does not come into contact with any nutty substance. My son is allergic to seafood and shellfish, and his throat closes over when he is exposed to either of them in any form. I don't expect the schools to go on a witch hunt for tuna lovers, nor do I expect the school, it's staff, it's students, and the parents to change their eating habits and grocery orders; I expect him and his teacher to be aware and careful.

I may seem insensitive, but that's just the way I see it. I've spoken to many, many parents who feel the same way. People hesitate to admit it, but banning peanuts, or any other food, is a bad precendent to set. What's next, banning chips for the kids battling childhood obesity? Banning windows for the kids allergic to pollen? In my thirteen years of school, there was not a single peanut fatality. Was it just a fluke that everyone survived? Or was it that, back then, nobody seemed to overreact the way they do now, people didn't go to such drastic measures, and we all turned out just fine? It may be a bit taboo to even complain about the peanut patrol, but too bad. Someone has to do it.

However, all the complaining in the world doesn't rid me of my lunch-packing woes. I want to give my son a proper dinner without putting myself in the poor house, is that too much to ask?

What does the "student fee" pay for? Do a few microwaves use up so much electricity that the school doesn't have it in it's budget to nuke a few bowls every lunch hour? I wonder if the teachers are allowed to use the microwave? (Oh that's right, there's a private one in the staff room.) Should the staff be allowed to criticize parents on their choice of lunches, when the alternatives we're given are so limited? Next time my son comes home with a story like that, I'll be marching down to the school and telling the cafeteria lady to either fire up the microwave or keep her opinions to herself. And probably not in words that sunny and cheerful.

If you have any suggestions for a good lunch, please let me know, I'd love to have a few new ideas. Pretty soon, I'll be sending him to school with bread and butter. Cold bread and butter.