I Miss You, Janelle

Yawn

So I guess I'm going to talk about Big Brother 8 now.

For those of you who don't watch it, or who don't know anything about Big Brother, this blog entry will read like a Mandarin textbook to you, and I'm sorry. Tomorrow will not be about the specifics of one particular season of a TV show, I promise. For those of you who DO watch, or have watched in the past, I look forward to hearing your comments and thoughts.

I had so been looking forward to this season, to fiesty and controversial characters, smart and not-so-smart players, and the different dynamics in the house. What a huge disappointment.

To date, here are my thoughts:

Carol: aka, the first person to be voted out. She was a pretty girl, if nothing else. Too bad her rival didn't get evicted first.

Joe: aka, the annoying gay guy, second evictee. After the first episode I thought I was really going to like him, especially after he told the whole house that his rival ex-boyfriend Dustin had given him gonorrhea. LMAO for about an hour. But Joe doesn't know when to shut up. He was obnoxious ad nauseum. Attention-monger with a very loud voice, and total hypocrite besides. Bye Bye Joe.

Danielle: I like this girl for some reason. She hasn't really done anything notable, and she does seem a bit on the spacey side, but she hasn't done anything to rub me the wrong way. She seems to think her father is the biggest dork ever, which is nice in a refreshing, all-kids-think-their-parents-are-dorks kind of way. As long as she gets a grip on the whole relationship with Nick, distances herself from her father's big mouth, and if she stops spending so much friggin time in bed, I think she'll be there for the long haul.

Dick: Oh Dick, what can I say. In one respect he's very smart. No matter how uncomfortable the situation, Dick is always there with his mouth to make it more uncomfortable. Calling people out on their lies, exposing all the dirty deals, it's great; and he's making a name for himself as the guy who always tells the truth, no matter what the cost. That could serve him well later in the game - he could lie about anything, and people would believe him over someone else. But that's assuming he's still in the house. The way he's shooting his mouth off to everyone is getting abrasive, and it might hurt him. He's used the power of HOH like a police academy drop-out working the door at a nightclub. Good thing his reign is over, hopefully he didn't have enough time to shoot himself in the foot. I like him, as long as he's not in charge.

Dustin: My favorite, gonorrhea or no gonorrhea. I liked him immediately, and he hasn't done anything yet to change my mind. A bit sad that we "play for the same team", as I think he's better looking than any other guy in the house. He may be playing under the radar, but for now, I say let him. Smart move at least until Joe was out of the picture. He's in the good graces of just about everyone in the house, and we'll see where his loyalty is when the herd is thinned a little.

Amber: Get it together lady! Do you think she does it on cue? "What can I say, I'm a crier," she said. Well thanks for the news update, no one had noticed the 800-pound gorilla in the room. Maybe a nice girl and all, but she doesn't have enough in the cahones department to be a contestant on this show. We shouldn't have to watch her sook and cry constantly, and the other contestants shouldn't have to spend all day fighting her battles, standing up for her, and consoling her. She's an emotional trainwreck and the sooner she goes back to her daughter in Las Vegas, the better. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

Jameka: Floating around, with the exception of her Africa meltdown, is all this girl has done to date. She seems to be very intelligent and street smart, so why isn't she making a bigger impact on the show? I have no idea. I'd like to see more of her, or none of her at all.

Jessica: Who? I honestly had to go to CBS.com to find out this girl's name. Used to being "the hot blonde" I imagine, with the bigger personalities on the show, she doesn't quite know where to put herself. The world record holder for using the word "like" the most times in one sentence, Jessica's floating M.O. will be discovered soon, and I'm sure the players will tire of it. Go back to your cheerleading squad dear, they're about to shoot an episode of Girls Gone Wild.

Eric: Everyone knows someone like Eric. The nice, nerdy guy in high school who did whatever it took to make the cool people like him. The type of guy who just doesn't sound natural when he swears. The guy who's more interested in watching the guys than the girls, not because he's gay, but because he has to learn how to be cool, and the girls are out of his league anyway. "America's Choice" should have been a contender, but this guy, as much as he tries hard and seems to be sweet enough, is going to get eaten alive when the game REALLY starts.

Mike/Nick/Zach: I group them together because they might as well be one person. Equally useless and uninteresting. The eye candy the producers so desperately need to keep the interest of their female viewers (and, often times, female contestants). It's a shame the BB people didn't look harder....I'm sure they could have found a few beefcakes who actually have a personality. Nick's "relationship" with Danielle sets him a bit apart from the rest, but not enough to make a big difference. The most interesting contribution from any one of these guys was Nick's "the 5 guys I would sleep with if I was gay which I'm not" speech. Again, LMAO.

Jen: "Jensa Member" - the irony of all ironies. Jen is a poor man's Janelle. Not nearly as attractive, but thinks she's the prettiest girl in history. Amazing body, but nothing above the shoulders, so to speak. Janelle was annoying, conceited, with a "couldn't care less" attitide. Jen tries to be the same way, but she's not as convincing. I can picture her putting away her brave face when the lights go out and crying herself to sleep every night. She doesn't have the same level of confidence or smarts as her predecessor, and her schtick is getting old. Good riddance.

Kail: "Everyone in my town works for me! I'm so wealthy and powerful and saavy." It's great that she enjoys her life in the real world, because I think she'll be heading back to it soon. For someone who's such a successful businesswoman, she's a pretty crappy Big Brother contestant. Selling everyone down the river, and then telling people about it. Lying, scheming, making alliances left and right, and then telling everyone about it. Trying to be too sneaky and too competitive right from the get go, instead of learning who to trust first and making decisions from there. Silly, silly Kail. Fun times watching her eat crow, but the drama involved in her desperate, unsuccessful campaign to stay is more interesting than watching her over the next few weeks. Nice knowing you, Kail, but I think you booked your ticket home.

Whew, that turned out to be a lot longer than I intended. But anyway, the moral of the story is, I miss Janelle and Dr. Will. Unless they show up with their sleeping bags to join BB8, this season just isn't won't be as fun to watch.

Update: I wrote this when Dick was HOH...lots and lots has happened since then. I will write another post about the remaining contestants and the status of the game in the coming days.