I just read a Center for Disease Control and Prevention report about marriage. Now, I’m not sure why the CDCP is concerning itself with marriage instead of, you know, disease prevention, but regardless – there’s a report, and I read it because the findings were interesting. It shows that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to break-up than those who don't.
I was very surprised to hear this, as the practical part of me wholeheartedly disagreed with the conclusion of the report. Gone are the days of couples living apart until they’re married; in fact, off the top of my head, I can’t even think of any one couple, in my circle of friends or otherwise, who does not live together.
And, in my opinion, right or wrong, living together before marriage just plain makes sense from a logistical standpoint. (Please don’t send me hate mail about how living in sin is un-Catholic. I’ve read the Bible, I know the rules, and it’s not for me to advise couples on their course of action. It’s only a point of view, folks. )
I have been married for almost four years, but I have lived with my husband for far longer than that, and I can’t imagine it having been any other way. There are habitual things, behaviors and methods, which are good to find out about before you have pledged to spend the rest of your days putting up with them, don’t you think?
If you’re a clean freak, you will find it difficult to live with someone who has cleaned up for your visits for the past three years but secretly lives in filth when you’re not there. Once the two lives meld, conflict is sure to arise if a compromise isn’t reached before moving day.
Maybe tidiness isn’t a make-or-break caliber conflict, but when a marriage begins, I would be inclined to think the fewer problems a couple is faced with, the better.
Not to mention, it can go deeper than tidy vs. not. There are a thousand “little” issues that might turn out to be big issues once two lives are riding on it, especially in the midst of a completely unfamiliar and often very trying chapter in someone’s life.
Some might say that as long as a couple loves each other and is on the same page as far as their morals and values are concerned, the rest is inconsequential and can be worked out with some time and patience. In an ideal world, sure, all you need is love. In reality, learning to successfully live together is a massive, humongous, gigantic part of married life. After all, the ultimate goal is not just to make a marriage work; lots of people can do that whether or not they’re meant to. The real mission, as far as I’m concerned, is to spend the rest of my life in a happy marriage. And - like it or not, experts – that required me knowing about his morning routine and thrice-daily showers and aversion to heat BEFORE I had vowed to embrace and put up with all of it.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m too liberal-minded and the whole “living in sin” thing wasn’t as relevant to me as it should have been. I didn’t consciously decide that I was going to defy what is proper in society’s eyes; all I knew was that I wanted to spend every moment with my partner and truly get to know him and his life before I made a lifetime commitment, and I can tell you with certainty that I was in a much more confident position to make that commitment because we lived together. But, I suppose that may not be the case, or the best idea, for everyone. I’m no one’s moral compass, that’s for sure, so to each his own.
The more I read, the more the rest of me disagreed with the report, too. While it was at times thought-provoking, I tend to think that if two people are compatible and truly love each other, with some hard work and mutual respect, you can have a happy and long-lasting marriage. There may be some truth to the numbers involved in all these studies and statistics, but they’re broad statements to be sure. I like to think I fly in the face of the theories the CDCP have presented, and those of you who have managed to make it work should feel good about doing the same.
This probably explains why I always preferred sociology to math.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
More OMG Facts
By popular demand, I give you more random facts. In case you’re wondering, all the facts I’ve listed have been verified by the OMG Facts staff (which is probably iron-clad, since everything you read on the internet is true, right?).
Anyway, enjoy!
When flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you landed 2 hours before you left.
Farmville players on Facebook outnumber real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1.
The cost of the halftime commercials during the Superbowl could feed the world's entire refugee population - twice.
Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save.
Every three minutes someone in the world reports a UFO.
Vending machines kill four times more people each year than sharks do.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a 50,000 word novel, "Gadsby", which doesn't contain the letter E.
'Typewriter' is the longest English word that can be made by using only one row of a keyboard.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.
“Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Eating a bag of chips a day is the equivalent of drinking five liters of cooking oil a year.
Women speak about 7000 words a day. The average man? 2000.
The Bible is the number one most shoplifted book of all time.
Over 2500 left-handed people a year are killed from using equipment made for right-handed people.
Rain contains vitamin B12.
Almost 100,000 kids in the United States bring guns to school DAILY.
Eagles mate in mid air.
All swans in England are the property of the queen or king.
The MGM Grand Hotel of Las Vegas washes 15,000 pillowcases per day.
The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
In Albania, nodding your head means 'no' and shaking your head means 'yes'.
In Venezuela, fuel costs around $0.02 per gallon.
The 7-Eleven Extreme Gulp is 50% bigger than the volume of the human stomach.
A 100-pound person on Earth would weigh 38 pounds on Mars.
Of all things, Andrew Jackson's tombstone does not mention that he served as the president of the United States.
Every U.S. president with a beard has been a Republican.
Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.
The average American eats at McDonalds more than 1,800 times in their life.
People who are lying to you tend to look up and to their left.
Malaysians protect their babies from disease by bathing them in beer.
Only 1 out of 700 identity thieves gets caught.
Walmart generates approximately $3,000,000.00 in revenues every 7 minutes.
There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
About 8 million toothpicks can be made from a cord of wood.
The combined weight of all the ants in the world is about the same or slightly greater than the weight of all humans.
American car horns beep in the tone of F.
There is an average of 178 sesame seeds on a Big Mac bun.
You would need to stack 11 Empire State Buildings one on top of the other to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.
There are more cars in Los Angeles than people.
Most heart attacks happen on Mondays.
The Pope’s official barber earns an annual salary equivalent to $250,000 USD.
Eighty percent of all pictures on the internet are nude women.
Studies have proven that bees can count.
Human hair, while seemingly fragile, is almost indestructible.
Eating celery is technically an exercise, since chewing it burns more calories than it contains.
Married men tip better than unmarried men, by about 10%.
If you lined up your blood vessels from end to end, they could circle the globe, and then some.
In the winter of 1932, Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, Shakespeare wrote about one-tenth of the most quotable quotations ever written or spoken in English.
Nearly 22,000 cheques will be deducted somewhere in the world from the wrong account in the next hour.
The venom of the king cobra is so deadly that one gram can kill 150 people.
By recycling just one glass bottle, the amount of energy that is being saved is enough to light a 100 watt bulb for four hours.
The average person spends about three years of their life on a toilet.
Food for thought!
Anyway, enjoy!
When flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you landed 2 hours before you left.
Farmville players on Facebook outnumber real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1.
The cost of the halftime commercials during the Superbowl could feed the world's entire refugee population - twice.
Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save.
Every three minutes someone in the world reports a UFO.
Vending machines kill four times more people each year than sharks do.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a 50,000 word novel, "Gadsby", which doesn't contain the letter E.
'Typewriter' is the longest English word that can be made by using only one row of a keyboard.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.
“Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Eating a bag of chips a day is the equivalent of drinking five liters of cooking oil a year.
Women speak about 7000 words a day. The average man? 2000.
The Bible is the number one most shoplifted book of all time.
Over 2500 left-handed people a year are killed from using equipment made for right-handed people.
Rain contains vitamin B12.
Almost 100,000 kids in the United States bring guns to school DAILY.
Eagles mate in mid air.
All swans in England are the property of the queen or king.
The MGM Grand Hotel of Las Vegas washes 15,000 pillowcases per day.
The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
In Albania, nodding your head means 'no' and shaking your head means 'yes'.
In Venezuela, fuel costs around $0.02 per gallon.
The 7-Eleven Extreme Gulp is 50% bigger than the volume of the human stomach.
A 100-pound person on Earth would weigh 38 pounds on Mars.
Of all things, Andrew Jackson's tombstone does not mention that he served as the president of the United States.
Every U.S. president with a beard has been a Republican.
Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.
The average American eats at McDonalds more than 1,800 times in their life.
People who are lying to you tend to look up and to their left.
Malaysians protect their babies from disease by bathing them in beer.
Only 1 out of 700 identity thieves gets caught.
Walmart generates approximately $3,000,000.00 in revenues every 7 minutes.
There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
About 8 million toothpicks can be made from a cord of wood.
The combined weight of all the ants in the world is about the same or slightly greater than the weight of all humans.
American car horns beep in the tone of F.
There is an average of 178 sesame seeds on a Big Mac bun.
You would need to stack 11 Empire State Buildings one on top of the other to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.
There are more cars in Los Angeles than people.
Most heart attacks happen on Mondays.
The Pope’s official barber earns an annual salary equivalent to $250,000 USD.
Eighty percent of all pictures on the internet are nude women.
Studies have proven that bees can count.
Human hair, while seemingly fragile, is almost indestructible.
Eating celery is technically an exercise, since chewing it burns more calories than it contains.
Married men tip better than unmarried men, by about 10%.
If you lined up your blood vessels from end to end, they could circle the globe, and then some.
In the winter of 1932, Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, Shakespeare wrote about one-tenth of the most quotable quotations ever written or spoken in English.
Nearly 22,000 cheques will be deducted somewhere in the world from the wrong account in the next hour.
The venom of the king cobra is so deadly that one gram can kill 150 people.
By recycling just one glass bottle, the amount of energy that is being saved is enough to light a 100 watt bulb for four hours.
The average person spends about three years of their life on a toilet.
Food for thought!
OMG Facts
I had a hard time making use of Twitter for the first few months. I didn’t care what Alyssa Milano was eating for breakfast, and I found myself questioning why I joined the site in the first place. I’ll spare you the drawn-out story of my coming around, but let me say this: the best use I’ve found for Twitter is the exchange of very interesting information.
There are a few people/companies I follow who share articles and pieces of work that are much more useful than your average “which celebrity is doing what” offering. There are articles on technology, psychology, parenting, politics, and every other conceivable topic. One of my favorites is an account called “OMG Facts”. If you’re on Twitter, follow them. If you’re not on Twitter, allow me to share some of their interesting little tidbits with you.
There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.
The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
A car travelling at 100mph would take more than 29 million years to reach the sun.
On average, 100 people choke on ballpoint pens every year.
It’s estimated that millions of trees are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.
All the gold ever mined in the world could be molded into a cube 60 feet high and 60 feet wide.
Until President Kennedy was killed, it wasn’t a federal crime to assassinate the President.
The Dallas/Ft. Worth Airport is larger than New York City’s Manhattan Island.
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
Disney World generates about 120,000 pounds of garbage every day.
Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined.
The weight of a blue whale's tongue is greater than most elephants.
Every single US president has worn glasses.
The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise
their lower eyelids.
Vultures can fly for 6 hours without flapping their wings.
If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
J.K. Rowling is wealthier then the Queen of England.
There are 293 different ways to make change for a dollar.
You're 3 times more likely to be killed in a car accident while driving to buy a lottery ticket than you are to win the jackpot.
It took radio 38 years to hit 50 million users. The internet took 5 years.
India has a Bill of Rights for cows.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Abraham Lincoln, had a brother who once saved the life of Lincoln’s son.
Literate adults can usually udnretsnad any msseed up stnecene as lnog as the frsit and lsat lteetrs of wdros are in the crrcoet plaecs!
On the old Canadian two dollar bill, there was an American flag flying over the Parliament building.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
A female platypus sweats milk.
A first class (parlor suite) ticket on to the Titanic cost $4,350, which translates into $90,000 in 2009 USD.
Fred and Wilma Flintstone were the first couple to be shown in bed together on television, and it wasn't until 1960.
Baseball player Richie Ashburn, in August 1957, hit a fan with a foul ball. A few minutes later, he hit the same fan with another foul ball as she was being taken out on a stretcher.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
In 1945, a rooster by the name of Mike lived 18 months without a head.
Author Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835. The comet is only visible to Earth every 76 years, and he vowed that he would not die until he saw the famous comet. He died the day after its next appearance in 1910.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
It takes 12 bees their entire lifetime to make one tablespoon of honey.
And lastly, here’s a funny one: in Hong Kong, the wife of a husband who commits adultery is legally entitled to murder the mistress in any manner she sees fit.
You’re welcome, fellow trivia nerds!
There are a few people/companies I follow who share articles and pieces of work that are much more useful than your average “which celebrity is doing what” offering. There are articles on technology, psychology, parenting, politics, and every other conceivable topic. One of my favorites is an account called “OMG Facts”. If you’re on Twitter, follow them. If you’re not on Twitter, allow me to share some of their interesting little tidbits with you.
There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.
The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
A car travelling at 100mph would take more than 29 million years to reach the sun.
On average, 100 people choke on ballpoint pens every year.
It’s estimated that millions of trees are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.
All the gold ever mined in the world could be molded into a cube 60 feet high and 60 feet wide.
Until President Kennedy was killed, it wasn’t a federal crime to assassinate the President.
The Dallas/Ft. Worth Airport is larger than New York City’s Manhattan Island.
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
Disney World generates about 120,000 pounds of garbage every day.
Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined.
The weight of a blue whale's tongue is greater than most elephants.
Every single US president has worn glasses.
The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise
their lower eyelids.
Vultures can fly for 6 hours without flapping their wings.
If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
J.K. Rowling is wealthier then the Queen of England.
There are 293 different ways to make change for a dollar.
You're 3 times more likely to be killed in a car accident while driving to buy a lottery ticket than you are to win the jackpot.
It took radio 38 years to hit 50 million users. The internet took 5 years.
India has a Bill of Rights for cows.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Abraham Lincoln, had a brother who once saved the life of Lincoln’s son.
Literate adults can usually udnretsnad any msseed up stnecene as lnog as the frsit and lsat lteetrs of wdros are in the crrcoet plaecs!
On the old Canadian two dollar bill, there was an American flag flying over the Parliament building.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
A female platypus sweats milk.
A first class (parlor suite) ticket on to the Titanic cost $4,350, which translates into $90,000 in 2009 USD.
Fred and Wilma Flintstone were the first couple to be shown in bed together on television, and it wasn't until 1960.
Baseball player Richie Ashburn, in August 1957, hit a fan with a foul ball. A few minutes later, he hit the same fan with another foul ball as she was being taken out on a stretcher.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
In 1945, a rooster by the name of Mike lived 18 months without a head.
Author Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835. The comet is only visible to Earth every 76 years, and he vowed that he would not die until he saw the famous comet. He died the day after its next appearance in 1910.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
It takes 12 bees their entire lifetime to make one tablespoon of honey.
And lastly, here’s a funny one: in Hong Kong, the wife of a husband who commits adultery is legally entitled to murder the mistress in any manner she sees fit.
You’re welcome, fellow trivia nerds!
We Scored
My personal interest in hockey has been fleeting, I’ll admit.
My earliest memory of the game is lying on the couch at my grandparents’ house, eating cinnamon toast and eggnog, and watching Hockey Night in Canada with Grandma after the Tommy Hunter Show. It was a weekly tradition for us, while Grandpa was at the card game. She rooted for the Montreal Canadiens, but I only knew to go for “the red shirts”.
In elementary school, the girls in my class became fans of the Calgary Flames; not because we really liked the team or knew anything about hockey, but because Craig Boudreau was a fan and what Craig Boudreau liked, you could pretty much count on the girls liking, too. I remember tuning into the evening news one night, specifically to see a massive Calgary brawl from the night before. I paid special attention to detail so I would be able to informatively discuss the fight at recess the next day.
While in university, I took a job at the Halifax Metro Center, where I became friends with several players from the Halifax Mooseheads. Because I was working for all their home games, I soon became a fan of Major Junior hockey. When one player, Alex Tanguay, got drafted to the Colorado Avalanche, I took to watching their games and I was hooked. Now that was hockey, when the Sakic-Forseberg-Tanguay line was on the ice.
When my favorite team all but dissolved after the glory days of Colorado’s Northwestern Conference titles and Stanley Cup victories, I didn’t really pay attention to the NHL anymore, or any hockey, period. There have been a few tournaments whose hype had me looking over my shoulder and considering a return to fandom, but never enough to follow through.
Then, the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.
I hadn’t planned to watch any Olympic events, to tell you the truth. I was put off by the technical glitch that made the climactic moment of the opening ceremonies an awkward spectacle, and after the first few days of less-than-expected success by the Canadian athletes, I was more embarrassed for Canada than eager to tune in to the hoopla.
Still, I was curious. Everyone was so excited for the men’s hockey competition – “Canada is bringing home the gold!” people claimed – that I couldn’t resist. I took over remote control duties and decided we’d watch the Canada vs. USA game. The hockey was less than stellar, but what got me was the crowd. The chanting and screaming, the sea of flag-waving red – it was like no other hockey game I had watched before.
I hadn’t put enough stock in these Olympics on Canadian turf. In the preceding weeks, it brought to mind an overplayed theme song and seemingly never-ending torch relay coverage on the nightly news. But, when push came to shove, I think it ended up meaning more to us than we could have anticipated.
The majority of Canada anxiously watched the gold medal game on Sunday. It was the ultimate match-up: our home-grown athletes, good ol’ boys proudly representing small-town Canada, up against Team USA, who had already beat us the first time around and who stood practically unchallenged in the overall medal standings. This was it, for the broccoli bouquets (not to digress but, um…what was up with those?), the gold, and the glory.
A gold medal game couldn’t have been written more perfectly. Last minute tie, overtime period winner-takes-all, every element was present for the most memorable Olympic hockey final of our lifetime.
And they did it. They could easily have choked and been made to stand with the same heartbroken faces the Americans were sporting with their silver. It could so easily have gone the other way.
But it didn’t. And what a moment it was.
I doubt those boys realize the depth of what they accomplished in Vancouver. I’m sure they’re happy with their medals and proud of their accomplishments, but it was more than that.
That game was not about medal count or perfect play execution, or even about sport, when you really think about it. It was about providing an opportunity for all Canadians to express our national pride. To stand up and wave our flag (while calling ‘nanny-nanny-poo-poo’ at the Americans if we felt like it), without being overly polite or apologizing for our free health care. It was very liberating to give a damn, to be proud of where we live, not just discreetly this time, but with the entire world watching.
I probably won’t start watching hockey again, but I don’t have to. Everything I could have asked for from a hockey experience was fulfilled Sunday night, and it’s a moment I’m thankful for.
My earliest memory of the game is lying on the couch at my grandparents’ house, eating cinnamon toast and eggnog, and watching Hockey Night in Canada with Grandma after the Tommy Hunter Show. It was a weekly tradition for us, while Grandpa was at the card game. She rooted for the Montreal Canadiens, but I only knew to go for “the red shirts”.
In elementary school, the girls in my class became fans of the Calgary Flames; not because we really liked the team or knew anything about hockey, but because Craig Boudreau was a fan and what Craig Boudreau liked, you could pretty much count on the girls liking, too. I remember tuning into the evening news one night, specifically to see a massive Calgary brawl from the night before. I paid special attention to detail so I would be able to informatively discuss the fight at recess the next day.
While in university, I took a job at the Halifax Metro Center, where I became friends with several players from the Halifax Mooseheads. Because I was working for all their home games, I soon became a fan of Major Junior hockey. When one player, Alex Tanguay, got drafted to the Colorado Avalanche, I took to watching their games and I was hooked. Now that was hockey, when the Sakic-Forseberg-Tanguay line was on the ice.
When my favorite team all but dissolved after the glory days of Colorado’s Northwestern Conference titles and Stanley Cup victories, I didn’t really pay attention to the NHL anymore, or any hockey, period. There have been a few tournaments whose hype had me looking over my shoulder and considering a return to fandom, but never enough to follow through.
Then, the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.
I hadn’t planned to watch any Olympic events, to tell you the truth. I was put off by the technical glitch that made the climactic moment of the opening ceremonies an awkward spectacle, and after the first few days of less-than-expected success by the Canadian athletes, I was more embarrassed for Canada than eager to tune in to the hoopla.
Still, I was curious. Everyone was so excited for the men’s hockey competition – “Canada is bringing home the gold!” people claimed – that I couldn’t resist. I took over remote control duties and decided we’d watch the Canada vs. USA game. The hockey was less than stellar, but what got me was the crowd. The chanting and screaming, the sea of flag-waving red – it was like no other hockey game I had watched before.
I hadn’t put enough stock in these Olympics on Canadian turf. In the preceding weeks, it brought to mind an overplayed theme song and seemingly never-ending torch relay coverage on the nightly news. But, when push came to shove, I think it ended up meaning more to us than we could have anticipated.
The majority of Canada anxiously watched the gold medal game on Sunday. It was the ultimate match-up: our home-grown athletes, good ol’ boys proudly representing small-town Canada, up against Team USA, who had already beat us the first time around and who stood practically unchallenged in the overall medal standings. This was it, for the broccoli bouquets (not to digress but, um…what was up with those?), the gold, and the glory.
A gold medal game couldn’t have been written more perfectly. Last minute tie, overtime period winner-takes-all, every element was present for the most memorable Olympic hockey final of our lifetime.
And they did it. They could easily have choked and been made to stand with the same heartbroken faces the Americans were sporting with their silver. It could so easily have gone the other way.
But it didn’t. And what a moment it was.
I doubt those boys realize the depth of what they accomplished in Vancouver. I’m sure they’re happy with their medals and proud of their accomplishments, but it was more than that.
That game was not about medal count or perfect play execution, or even about sport, when you really think about it. It was about providing an opportunity for all Canadians to express our national pride. To stand up and wave our flag (while calling ‘nanny-nanny-poo-poo’ at the Americans if we felt like it), without being overly polite or apologizing for our free health care. It was very liberating to give a damn, to be proud of where we live, not just discreetly this time, but with the entire world watching.
I probably won’t start watching hockey again, but I don’t have to. Everything I could have asked for from a hockey experience was fulfilled Sunday night, and it’s a moment I’m thankful for.
Common Sense Questions, Part 2
What a difference a week makes.
One minute, MLAs involved in this spending scandal are steadfast that they did nothing wrong, and the next minute they’re loading up trucks with electronics to return to the province in light of the announced forensic audit.
But, before I start spouting off, I feel like I should give credit where credit is due.
Former premier Rodney MacDonald was flagged in the Auditor General’s report for a projector screen and accessories. While many electronics strike me as being extravagant and unnecessary, I wouldn’t say the same about a projector screen, which MacDonald says was used for business presentations. While speaking to a room of 200 people, a Powerpoint presentation pro.bably wouldn’t be all that effective if shown on a 17” laptop screen.
Not only that, but if the projector is still in use by community members, as he claims, instead of collecting dust in his basement or showing midnight screenings of “The Notebook” in his living room, it seems that would qualify as a legitimate expense. Rodney spent far less than most other MLAs, so he gets a pass this time around.
Now, Michel Samson. While I’m not exactly thrilled with one or two of the expenses listed in the report under his name (almost $600 for Bluetooth?), his claim for internet services seemed odd for the AG to have listed as inappropriate. He’s a public servant who needs to keep in touch with constituents and colleagues while in Halifax, so I don’t blame him for claiming his internet service, since it’s not something he would have required if not for his job. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think he should have had to pay that money back.
While I’m at it, I want to give a big shout-out to Bill Estabrooks, our most frugal MLA with a total of less than $2500 spent over the course of the applicable 3-year period examined. His tastes are very bare-bones, by his own admission, as well they should be, considering the state of our province’s economy. Bill Estabrooks is a hard working, accomplished, highly respected MLA; if he can get by with a second-hand desk and filing cabinets from an army surplus store, how necessary is a $650 Mocha chair is to the successful operation of a constituency office? (I’m looking at you, Karen Casey.)
Enough with the kudos.
What’s all this about former MLA Ron Chisolm buying a $750 GPS system? Sure, they’re dandy little accessories to have – if you’re a Geotracker or plan to drive alone to Napa Valley. But Chisolm says he needed one to assist him in finding his way around his constituency. Lamest. Justification. Ever. Someone needs to remind him that his constituency was Guysborough, which I think translates in Gaelic to “place with only two roads”. I’ll give you a shiny quarter if you can find one person from Guysborough who has EVER got lost there.
Unbelievably, even shadier deals went down. Jamie Muir, former cabinet minister from Truro-Bible Hill, claimed a December 31, 2008 invoice for a $1050 television. That was two days after he announced he wouldn’t run in the next election. He says he’s reimbursed taxpayers and plans to keep the TV.
Huh? Is he serious? Did he or did he not take our money and buy himself a TV? I don’t care if he paid the money back. I once got a loan from the Nova Scotia government, and not only did I have to go through an exhaustive application process, but I paid the student loans back in full and was charged hefty interest. Had I stolen the premier’s cheque book to pay Saint Mary’s my tuition, I’d be in jail right now, whether or not I paid the money back.
I find myself wading through the many dozens of examples of inappropriate and excessive spending without any real direction. There are so many angles, so many examples, so many excuses, that it’s become tiresome and frustrating to chronicle any more of them. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the $113 Xbox Dance Dance Revolution game that Len Goucher bought and refuses to explain, but that’s it, I’m done.
I’d like to end this series with quotes from issue 579 of Frank Magazine, since they so eloquently summed up my thoughts better than even I could myself: “Seems after years and years of piling on one expense perk after another… our MLAs never, ever thought they’d get found out.” “…The finger-pointing…the almost Nuremburgesque defense by our three political leaders was pitiful and embarrassing.” “They deserve everything that is coming their way, yes, even handcuffs, if they’re included.”
One minute, MLAs involved in this spending scandal are steadfast that they did nothing wrong, and the next minute they’re loading up trucks with electronics to return to the province in light of the announced forensic audit.
But, before I start spouting off, I feel like I should give credit where credit is due.
Former premier Rodney MacDonald was flagged in the Auditor General’s report for a projector screen and accessories. While many electronics strike me as being extravagant and unnecessary, I wouldn’t say the same about a projector screen, which MacDonald says was used for business presentations. While speaking to a room of 200 people, a Powerpoint presentation pro.bably wouldn’t be all that effective if shown on a 17” laptop screen.
Not only that, but if the projector is still in use by community members, as he claims, instead of collecting dust in his basement or showing midnight screenings of “The Notebook” in his living room, it seems that would qualify as a legitimate expense. Rodney spent far less than most other MLAs, so he gets a pass this time around.
Now, Michel Samson. While I’m not exactly thrilled with one or two of the expenses listed in the report under his name (almost $600 for Bluetooth?), his claim for internet services seemed odd for the AG to have listed as inappropriate. He’s a public servant who needs to keep in touch with constituents and colleagues while in Halifax, so I don’t blame him for claiming his internet service, since it’s not something he would have required if not for his job. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think he should have had to pay that money back.
While I’m at it, I want to give a big shout-out to Bill Estabrooks, our most frugal MLA with a total of less than $2500 spent over the course of the applicable 3-year period examined. His tastes are very bare-bones, by his own admission, as well they should be, considering the state of our province’s economy. Bill Estabrooks is a hard working, accomplished, highly respected MLA; if he can get by with a second-hand desk and filing cabinets from an army surplus store, how necessary is a $650 Mocha chair is to the successful operation of a constituency office? (I’m looking at you, Karen Casey.)
Enough with the kudos.
What’s all this about former MLA Ron Chisolm buying a $750 GPS system? Sure, they’re dandy little accessories to have – if you’re a Geotracker or plan to drive alone to Napa Valley. But Chisolm says he needed one to assist him in finding his way around his constituency. Lamest. Justification. Ever. Someone needs to remind him that his constituency was Guysborough, which I think translates in Gaelic to “place with only two roads”. I’ll give you a shiny quarter if you can find one person from Guysborough who has EVER got lost there.
Unbelievably, even shadier deals went down. Jamie Muir, former cabinet minister from Truro-Bible Hill, claimed a December 31, 2008 invoice for a $1050 television. That was two days after he announced he wouldn’t run in the next election. He says he’s reimbursed taxpayers and plans to keep the TV.
Huh? Is he serious? Did he or did he not take our money and buy himself a TV? I don’t care if he paid the money back. I once got a loan from the Nova Scotia government, and not only did I have to go through an exhaustive application process, but I paid the student loans back in full and was charged hefty interest. Had I stolen the premier’s cheque book to pay Saint Mary’s my tuition, I’d be in jail right now, whether or not I paid the money back.
I find myself wading through the many dozens of examples of inappropriate and excessive spending without any real direction. There are so many angles, so many examples, so many excuses, that it’s become tiresome and frustrating to chronicle any more of them. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the $113 Xbox Dance Dance Revolution game that Len Goucher bought and refuses to explain, but that’s it, I’m done.
I’d like to end this series with quotes from issue 579 of Frank Magazine, since they so eloquently summed up my thoughts better than even I could myself: “Seems after years and years of piling on one expense perk after another… our MLAs never, ever thought they’d get found out.” “…The finger-pointing…the almost Nuremburgesque defense by our three political leaders was pitiful and embarrassing.” “They deserve everything that is coming their way, yes, even handcuffs, if they’re included.”
Common Sense Questions, Part 1
I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but c’mon. They’re making it necessary.
When the comprehensive list of MLAs expense claims was released this past Wednesday, I read through every last extravagant detail with such incredulity and disbelief that I could barely process it all. I spent many hours trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words in a way that would succinctly address the new developments and still make my point.
I failed. There is such a hornet’s nest of backpedalling and blatant gall at the heart of this situation that a regular person like me, always a voter and news-watcher more so than writer-of-things-political, is too blinded by the abuses of the system to have any regard for the preposterously unsound rules that the people in government are using to justify their actions. “The Speaker’s office approved it,” is not enough to make it all go away, at least not for me.
So, in the wake of this scandal, I’m going to ask a few questions. I understand the answers might not ever come, but I need to put them, the reasons for asking them, and a few general statements, out into the universe. As a citizen, not a writer.
First, when an MLA leaves office, where does their furniture and office equipment go? To give an example of what I’m talking about, I’ll use Judy Streatch. She was elected in 2005 to fill a vacant seat and then again in the June 2006 provincial election. In January of 2007, she claimed approximately $3000 for a desk, a loveseat, and a chair, not to mention another $6400 in furnishings before she was defeated in 2009. So my question is – what was she using for furniture in the office from 2005 until she bought all the new stuff? Did it disappear? And if so, where did it go? Do MLAs completely refurnish offices after every election? Are there no inventory procedures?
The reason I ask is because the report indicates the MLAs have free reign over how they design their office space. There exist claims for furniture that I couldn’t fathom, as someone who has not only furnished a home, but who has also equipped an office from scratch. Is there no cap on what they can spend on furniture and décor?
Because Karen Casey thought a $300 fireplace might look nice in her office, does that mean she can run to out and buy one? If she thinks a marble credenza would be nice, does she get to bill us for that, too?
Did John MacDonell get a $900 vacuum because it has magical powers? I’ve had the same $100 vacuum for the better part of eight years and it does the job. What is it about the floors in his office that renders a standard vacuum useless? Or did he buy it simply because he had the opportunity?
After Clarrie MacKinnon is gone from office, what will happen to the six monogrammed armchairs he purchased for over $2000? Do they go home with him, or are they kept in storage until someone else with the initials “CM” is elected?
I don’t want to harp all day on furniture, but give me a break. A comfortable chair, a desk, filing cabinets – those are all reasonable political office expenses. Fireplaces, $900 vacuums, and monogrammed armchairs are not, in my opinion. Not reasonable for people preaching to Nova Scotians about how times are so tough.
Next, what is this business with the generators? Richard Hurlburt resigned after reports of his having one installed at his house were criticized (don’t get me started), but what about the other two? These are big ticket items, not a box of pens. In one example, Carolyn Bolivar-Getson said she was the minister in charge of emergency management and was setting an example at her constituency office. That’s one expensive example.
“We need to realize that you do need equipment to run a constituency (office),” she says. I completely agree, but can the ministers (who, you have to remember, are mere regular Joes before they decide to put their hat in the political ring and attach “The Honorable” to the front of their names) just decide willy-nilly what’s necessary? Because I don’t know about you, but I have, and surely could again, effectively run an office without a big screen plasma television, a generator, an iPod, and plenty of the other ridiculous purchases listed on the report. Someone needs to step in, set and enforce strict guidelines as to what is necessary equipment and what is excessive, let’s-load-up-while-we-can shopping on my tax dime. It should not be the MLAs distinction to make.
I have plenty more questions for next week.
When the comprehensive list of MLAs expense claims was released this past Wednesday, I read through every last extravagant detail with such incredulity and disbelief that I could barely process it all. I spent many hours trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words in a way that would succinctly address the new developments and still make my point.
I failed. There is such a hornet’s nest of backpedalling and blatant gall at the heart of this situation that a regular person like me, always a voter and news-watcher more so than writer-of-things-political, is too blinded by the abuses of the system to have any regard for the preposterously unsound rules that the people in government are using to justify their actions. “The Speaker’s office approved it,” is not enough to make it all go away, at least not for me.
So, in the wake of this scandal, I’m going to ask a few questions. I understand the answers might not ever come, but I need to put them, the reasons for asking them, and a few general statements, out into the universe. As a citizen, not a writer.
First, when an MLA leaves office, where does their furniture and office equipment go? To give an example of what I’m talking about, I’ll use Judy Streatch. She was elected in 2005 to fill a vacant seat and then again in the June 2006 provincial election. In January of 2007, she claimed approximately $3000 for a desk, a loveseat, and a chair, not to mention another $6400 in furnishings before she was defeated in 2009. So my question is – what was she using for furniture in the office from 2005 until she bought all the new stuff? Did it disappear? And if so, where did it go? Do MLAs completely refurnish offices after every election? Are there no inventory procedures?
The reason I ask is because the report indicates the MLAs have free reign over how they design their office space. There exist claims for furniture that I couldn’t fathom, as someone who has not only furnished a home, but who has also equipped an office from scratch. Is there no cap on what they can spend on furniture and décor?
Because Karen Casey thought a $300 fireplace might look nice in her office, does that mean she can run to out and buy one? If she thinks a marble credenza would be nice, does she get to bill us for that, too?
Did John MacDonell get a $900 vacuum because it has magical powers? I’ve had the same $100 vacuum for the better part of eight years and it does the job. What is it about the floors in his office that renders a standard vacuum useless? Or did he buy it simply because he had the opportunity?
After Clarrie MacKinnon is gone from office, what will happen to the six monogrammed armchairs he purchased for over $2000? Do they go home with him, or are they kept in storage until someone else with the initials “CM” is elected?
I don’t want to harp all day on furniture, but give me a break. A comfortable chair, a desk, filing cabinets – those are all reasonable political office expenses. Fireplaces, $900 vacuums, and monogrammed armchairs are not, in my opinion. Not reasonable for people preaching to Nova Scotians about how times are so tough.
Next, what is this business with the generators? Richard Hurlburt resigned after reports of his having one installed at his house were criticized (don’t get me started), but what about the other two? These are big ticket items, not a box of pens. In one example, Carolyn Bolivar-Getson said she was the minister in charge of emergency management and was setting an example at her constituency office. That’s one expensive example.
“We need to realize that you do need equipment to run a constituency (office),” she says. I completely agree, but can the ministers (who, you have to remember, are mere regular Joes before they decide to put their hat in the political ring and attach “The Honorable” to the front of their names) just decide willy-nilly what’s necessary? Because I don’t know about you, but I have, and surely could again, effectively run an office without a big screen plasma television, a generator, an iPod, and plenty of the other ridiculous purchases listed on the report. Someone needs to step in, set and enforce strict guidelines as to what is necessary equipment and what is excessive, let’s-load-up-while-we-can shopping on my tax dime. It should not be the MLAs distinction to make.
I have plenty more questions for next week.
Big Spenders
Sometimes they make it too easy, those MLAs. This week in the news has been like Mardi Gras for writers and reporters.
Do we get furious and pull our hair out? Do we protest and demand change? Or do we just laugh as they try desperately to do damage control? I haven’t decided yet; maybe all of the above.
In case you’ve been buried in a hole for the past week and haven’t heard, the Auditor General reported last Wednesday that MLAs province-wide have claimed excessive or inappropriate expenses over the past 3 years. Since the public generally regards the government as “a bunch of crooks” I don’t think the A-Gs report comes as much of a surprise to anyone, but the details – the confirmation, if you will – are still enough to disgust voters.
I mean, where do you even start? How does one begin to outline everything that’s wrong with the situation that was exposed by the Auditor General? Perhaps I’ll start with the A-G himself.
Mr. Lapointe has simultaneously done us a great service and a great disservice. While he has called attention to the “weaknesses” (his word) in the funding system relating to members’ expenditures, opened the lid on particular incidents of inappropriate spending, and even requested repayment for certain claims, he’s as complicit as any one of the guilty parties by virtue of his refusal to release the names of the people involved.
Sure, most members have come forward to admit their “mistakes” (and I use that word very loosely), but it’s only because they knew that, eventually, the papers would find out anyway. The names of the big spenders should have been released with the rest of the details. If it were a single party responsible, the other parties would be scrounging for info like ravenous vultures and relentlessly demanding that “the public has a right to know the truth”. But, since in this situation one party is as guilty as the other, there was instead a wall of silence and various colorful speeches about “rights to privacy”. Had Lapointe worried less about embarrassing his buddies in the boys’ club and more about keeping individuals accountable to their constituents, the public might have been afforded some real transparency.
And, speaking of accountability, when do the Mounties come in? When do we see news footage of these MLAs’ unceremonious dismissals from office? They did, after all, bilk the public out of tens of thousands of dollars. Every now and then, a regular office employee uses company cash to invest or vacation, whatever the vice, and Steve Murphy chronicles the entire saga from arrest to verdict. No one lets them off the hook just because they claim it was an honest mistake and offer to pay the money back. It brings to mind a bit of 80s Nova Scotia government déjà vu, but in this case (apparently), an appropriate punishment applies only to the goose, while all the ganders get off scot free. It’s unacceptable.
Are we expected to believe that a functioning adult could ever mistakenly believe that 11 laptop computers is a legitimate constituency expense? Mr. Lapointe says, “(the rules) around expenses simply aren’t clear. (They are) so ambiguous, it’s hard to tell what’s right and what’s wrong.” Really? It’s hard? Maybe I’m over-simplifying, but if you can’t establish whether or not buying a 40” big screen television with taxpayer dollars is wrong, I doubt you could be considered qualified to chew gum and walk at the same time, let alone serve as MLA.
Granted, maybe some MLAs didn’t use their time in office to intentionally milk the province for all it was worth. But, since admittedly there hadn’t been a review of expense claims in over 15 years, there was nothing stopping people from claiming these ludicrous expenses and getting away with it.
If you had taken pens from work for 15 years and no one told you not to, you’d probably continue to take them. After awhile, you might even convince yourself it’s okay, no one’s getting hurt and no one even knows the difference. But, when you get caught, you can’t claim it was an innocent mistake. Especially if they’re $7000 pens.
Guess what, Province House: we’re wise to the “oh really? I thought I was allowed to claim that” charade; have been for years, actually. You’re not fooling anyone with fancily-worded accounts of innocent mistakes. Lapointe opened Pandora’s box, and you can be confident that this time the province’s purse-strings will be tightened if we have anything to say about it.
Best of luck come election time, by the way.
Do we get furious and pull our hair out? Do we protest and demand change? Or do we just laugh as they try desperately to do damage control? I haven’t decided yet; maybe all of the above.
In case you’ve been buried in a hole for the past week and haven’t heard, the Auditor General reported last Wednesday that MLAs province-wide have claimed excessive or inappropriate expenses over the past 3 years. Since the public generally regards the government as “a bunch of crooks” I don’t think the A-Gs report comes as much of a surprise to anyone, but the details – the confirmation, if you will – are still enough to disgust voters.
I mean, where do you even start? How does one begin to outline everything that’s wrong with the situation that was exposed by the Auditor General? Perhaps I’ll start with the A-G himself.
Mr. Lapointe has simultaneously done us a great service and a great disservice. While he has called attention to the “weaknesses” (his word) in the funding system relating to members’ expenditures, opened the lid on particular incidents of inappropriate spending, and even requested repayment for certain claims, he’s as complicit as any one of the guilty parties by virtue of his refusal to release the names of the people involved.
Sure, most members have come forward to admit their “mistakes” (and I use that word very loosely), but it’s only because they knew that, eventually, the papers would find out anyway. The names of the big spenders should have been released with the rest of the details. If it were a single party responsible, the other parties would be scrounging for info like ravenous vultures and relentlessly demanding that “the public has a right to know the truth”. But, since in this situation one party is as guilty as the other, there was instead a wall of silence and various colorful speeches about “rights to privacy”. Had Lapointe worried less about embarrassing his buddies in the boys’ club and more about keeping individuals accountable to their constituents, the public might have been afforded some real transparency.
And, speaking of accountability, when do the Mounties come in? When do we see news footage of these MLAs’ unceremonious dismissals from office? They did, after all, bilk the public out of tens of thousands of dollars. Every now and then, a regular office employee uses company cash to invest or vacation, whatever the vice, and Steve Murphy chronicles the entire saga from arrest to verdict. No one lets them off the hook just because they claim it was an honest mistake and offer to pay the money back. It brings to mind a bit of 80s Nova Scotia government déjà vu, but in this case (apparently), an appropriate punishment applies only to the goose, while all the ganders get off scot free. It’s unacceptable.
Are we expected to believe that a functioning adult could ever mistakenly believe that 11 laptop computers is a legitimate constituency expense? Mr. Lapointe says, “(the rules) around expenses simply aren’t clear. (They are) so ambiguous, it’s hard to tell what’s right and what’s wrong.” Really? It’s hard? Maybe I’m over-simplifying, but if you can’t establish whether or not buying a 40” big screen television with taxpayer dollars is wrong, I doubt you could be considered qualified to chew gum and walk at the same time, let alone serve as MLA.
Granted, maybe some MLAs didn’t use their time in office to intentionally milk the province for all it was worth. But, since admittedly there hadn’t been a review of expense claims in over 15 years, there was nothing stopping people from claiming these ludicrous expenses and getting away with it.
If you had taken pens from work for 15 years and no one told you not to, you’d probably continue to take them. After awhile, you might even convince yourself it’s okay, no one’s getting hurt and no one even knows the difference. But, when you get caught, you can’t claim it was an innocent mistake. Especially if they’re $7000 pens.
Guess what, Province House: we’re wise to the “oh really? I thought I was allowed to claim that” charade; have been for years, actually. You’re not fooling anyone with fancily-worded accounts of innocent mistakes. Lapointe opened Pandora’s box, and you can be confident that this time the province’s purse-strings will be tightened if we have anything to say about it.
Best of luck come election time, by the way.
The Glory Days of Television
I think it’s about time television gets a much-needed programming overhaul, don’t you?
I get that people love reality TV. My favorite show is American Idol, and it doesn’t get much more “reality” than that. As a matter of fact, Idol and Survivor have many times been blamed for the rise of reality TV and the downfall of scripted television.
The real explosion in unscripted fare came in the early 2000s, and has only grown since then. Seldom can you channel-surf during prime time without passing a reality show (that, and the 16 versions of Law & Order shows, the 24 NCISs, and the 408 CSIs).
Gone are the days of sitcoms, dramas, character-driven shows. Incredibly, even long-running soap operas are being cancelled in favor of short-lived talk shows and game show repeats. Instead of characters, we now have contestants, and instead of plots, we have challenges. It’s a shame, really.
I had some favorite shows growing up, during my generation’s glory days of television. They might not have been scandalous or high-octane, but they were excellent in their own rite. Every show brings me back to a time when we knew nothing about the shows’ actors and didn’t care, either, as long as they showed up on our living room once a week.
On the top of my list was Degrassi Jr. High. If you are a girl between the ages of 28-35, and claim to have never taken your teasing comb and hottest outfit (a.k.a., the outfit your parents had forbid you from wearing outside the house) in your backpack to change in the school bathroom, I will probably call you a liar. Every girl I knew tried to be Stephanie Kay, if only once.
Even guys loved that show, however reluctant they’ll be to admit it. I can’t really speak to the tendencies of Port Hawkesbury, but I know River Bourgeois and St. Peter’s were flooded with Joey Jeremiah wannabes and mixed tapes with The Zit Remedy.
Is anyone, let alone a majority of a generation, going to so easily recall those kind of details about America’s Next Top Model in fifteen years? I doubt it.
Another great one was Danger Bay. Doc Roberts, Nicole, and Jonah, on CBC - anyone? It was taped in Vancouver and heavily featured the Vancouver Aquarium in most episodes. I can still quote that show, which is at once sad and fabulous. There was always some sort of big environmental or marine emergency that Doc and his two teenaged kids would race to in the family speedboat.
What is the greatest game show in the history of broadcasting, you might be wondering? The answer is quite simple if you ask me – Funhouse. If you think people would give anything to be on shows these days, multiply that desire by about a trillion, and that’s how much I wanted to be a contestant in the slime-covered obstacle course, hosted by J.D. Roth. If the television gods were going to bring back any show, this is the one I’d pick.
Another sentimental favorite is Up Home Tonight, a kitchen party masquerading as a variety show on ATV. Grandma and I used to watch it when I’d stay overnight; it was on after The Tommy Hunter Show. It might not have had a lot of production value, and I’m sure I’d have no use for it today, but I can still remember the popular performers like Sugartime, The Boys in the Band, and The Diamond Trio, so at the very least, it was memorable.
Nothing reminds me of my childhood more than Sunday mornings and Switchback. Stan “The Man” was a fixture at our house, like everyone else’s, but I had a connection to the show that few others could brag about. Do you remember the gorilla? He was Stan’s “assistant”, if you will, passing The Man props and such from off camera. Nothing but the gorilla’s arm was ever shown, but I can tell you what was behind the scenes: the gorilla’s arm was none other than Paul Cormier, an employee of CBC.
I’m not sure exactly what Paul’s official role was on the show, other than serving as the gorilla, but that wasn’t important at the time. What mattered was, Paul had a summer home right next to my house and would bring that hairy arm to River Bourgeois every summer for me to see. I’m sure it sounds ridiculous now, but trust me – in grade 3, I was a class celebrity by virtue of my “close ties” to a TV star.
Those were the glory days of television. There will never be another Degrassi or Switchback, but I’d sooner see a hundred situational comedies try and fail than endure one more reality show.
I get that people love reality TV. My favorite show is American Idol, and it doesn’t get much more “reality” than that. As a matter of fact, Idol and Survivor have many times been blamed for the rise of reality TV and the downfall of scripted television.
The real explosion in unscripted fare came in the early 2000s, and has only grown since then. Seldom can you channel-surf during prime time without passing a reality show (that, and the 16 versions of Law & Order shows, the 24 NCISs, and the 408 CSIs).
Gone are the days of sitcoms, dramas, character-driven shows. Incredibly, even long-running soap operas are being cancelled in favor of short-lived talk shows and game show repeats. Instead of characters, we now have contestants, and instead of plots, we have challenges. It’s a shame, really.
I had some favorite shows growing up, during my generation’s glory days of television. They might not have been scandalous or high-octane, but they were excellent in their own rite. Every show brings me back to a time when we knew nothing about the shows’ actors and didn’t care, either, as long as they showed up on our living room once a week.
On the top of my list was Degrassi Jr. High. If you are a girl between the ages of 28-35, and claim to have never taken your teasing comb and hottest outfit (a.k.a., the outfit your parents had forbid you from wearing outside the house) in your backpack to change in the school bathroom, I will probably call you a liar. Every girl I knew tried to be Stephanie Kay, if only once.
Even guys loved that show, however reluctant they’ll be to admit it. I can’t really speak to the tendencies of Port Hawkesbury, but I know River Bourgeois and St. Peter’s were flooded with Joey Jeremiah wannabes and mixed tapes with The Zit Remedy.
Is anyone, let alone a majority of a generation, going to so easily recall those kind of details about America’s Next Top Model in fifteen years? I doubt it.
Another great one was Danger Bay. Doc Roberts, Nicole, and Jonah, on CBC - anyone? It was taped in Vancouver and heavily featured the Vancouver Aquarium in most episodes. I can still quote that show, which is at once sad and fabulous. There was always some sort of big environmental or marine emergency that Doc and his two teenaged kids would race to in the family speedboat.
What is the greatest game show in the history of broadcasting, you might be wondering? The answer is quite simple if you ask me – Funhouse. If you think people would give anything to be on shows these days, multiply that desire by about a trillion, and that’s how much I wanted to be a contestant in the slime-covered obstacle course, hosted by J.D. Roth. If the television gods were going to bring back any show, this is the one I’d pick.
Another sentimental favorite is Up Home Tonight, a kitchen party masquerading as a variety show on ATV. Grandma and I used to watch it when I’d stay overnight; it was on after The Tommy Hunter Show. It might not have had a lot of production value, and I’m sure I’d have no use for it today, but I can still remember the popular performers like Sugartime, The Boys in the Band, and The Diamond Trio, so at the very least, it was memorable.
Nothing reminds me of my childhood more than Sunday mornings and Switchback. Stan “The Man” was a fixture at our house, like everyone else’s, but I had a connection to the show that few others could brag about. Do you remember the gorilla? He was Stan’s “assistant”, if you will, passing The Man props and such from off camera. Nothing but the gorilla’s arm was ever shown, but I can tell you what was behind the scenes: the gorilla’s arm was none other than Paul Cormier, an employee of CBC.
I’m not sure exactly what Paul’s official role was on the show, other than serving as the gorilla, but that wasn’t important at the time. What mattered was, Paul had a summer home right next to my house and would bring that hairy arm to River Bourgeois every summer for me to see. I’m sure it sounds ridiculous now, but trust me – in grade 3, I was a class celebrity by virtue of my “close ties” to a TV star.
Those were the glory days of television. There will never be another Degrassi or Switchback, but I’d sooner see a hundred situational comedies try and fail than endure one more reality show.
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