The Glory Days of Television

I think it’s about time television gets a much-needed programming overhaul, don’t you?

I get that people love reality TV. My favorite show is American Idol, and it doesn’t get much more “reality” than that. As a matter of fact, Idol and Survivor have many times been blamed for the rise of reality TV and the downfall of scripted television.
The real explosion in unscripted fare came in the early 2000s, and has only grown since then. Seldom can you channel-surf during prime time without passing a reality show (that, and the 16 versions of Law & Order shows, the 24 NCISs, and the 408 CSIs).

Gone are the days of sitcoms, dramas, character-driven shows. Incredibly, even long-running soap operas are being cancelled in favor of short-lived talk shows and game show repeats. Instead of characters, we now have contestants, and instead of plots, we have challenges. It’s a shame, really.

I had some favorite shows growing up, during my generation’s glory days of television. They might not have been scandalous or high-octane, but they were excellent in their own rite. Every show brings me back to a time when we knew nothing about the shows’ actors and didn’t care, either, as long as they showed up on our living room once a week.

On the top of my list was Degrassi Jr. High. If you are a girl between the ages of 28-35, and claim to have never taken your teasing comb and hottest outfit (a.k.a., the outfit your parents had forbid you from wearing outside the house) in your backpack to change in the school bathroom, I will probably call you a liar. Every girl I knew tried to be Stephanie Kay, if only once.

Even guys loved that show, however reluctant they’ll be to admit it. I can’t really speak to the tendencies of Port Hawkesbury, but I know River Bourgeois and St. Peter’s were flooded with Joey Jeremiah wannabes and mixed tapes with The Zit Remedy.
Is anyone, let alone a majority of a generation, going to so easily recall those kind of details about America’s Next Top Model in fifteen years? I doubt it.

Another great one was Danger Bay. Doc Roberts, Nicole, and Jonah, on CBC - anyone? It was taped in Vancouver and heavily featured the Vancouver Aquarium in most episodes. I can still quote that show, which is at once sad and fabulous. There was always some sort of big environmental or marine emergency that Doc and his two teenaged kids would race to in the family speedboat.

What is the greatest game show in the history of broadcasting, you might be wondering? The answer is quite simple if you ask me – Funhouse. If you think people would give anything to be on shows these days, multiply that desire by about a trillion, and that’s how much I wanted to be a contestant in the slime-covered obstacle course, hosted by J.D. Roth. If the television gods were going to bring back any show, this is the one I’d pick.

Another sentimental favorite is Up Home Tonight, a kitchen party masquerading as a variety show on ATV. Grandma and I used to watch it when I’d stay overnight; it was on after The Tommy Hunter Show. It might not have had a lot of production value, and I’m sure I’d have no use for it today, but I can still remember the popular performers like Sugartime, The Boys in the Band, and The Diamond Trio, so at the very least, it was memorable.

Nothing reminds me of my childhood more than Sunday mornings and Switchback. Stan “The Man” was a fixture at our house, like everyone else’s, but I had a connection to the show that few others could brag about. Do you remember the gorilla? He was Stan’s “assistant”, if you will, passing The Man props and such from off camera. Nothing but the gorilla’s arm was ever shown, but I can tell you what was behind the scenes: the gorilla’s arm was none other than Paul Cormier, an employee of CBC.

I’m not sure exactly what Paul’s official role was on the show, other than serving as the gorilla, but that wasn’t important at the time. What mattered was, Paul had a summer home right next to my house and would bring that hairy arm to River Bourgeois every summer for me to see. I’m sure it sounds ridiculous now, but trust me – in grade 3, I was a class celebrity by virtue of my “close ties” to a TV star.

Those were the glory days of television. There will never be another Degrassi or Switchback, but I’d sooner see a hundred situational comedies try and fail than endure one more reality show.