The other day, I overheard my oldest son telling his friend, "When I turn 16, Dad is getting me a car."
Not likely, if Mom has anything to say about it, but that's besides the point of my story.
Like any other devil's advocate, I began to badger him about the costs associated with owning a vehicle, and it occurred to me how staggeringly expensive a luxury it is in this day and age. I laid it out for him to absorb.
"It's not exactly cheap to get your driver's license," I told him. "Not only do you have to pay to take a beginners' test, but the road test, the licensing itself and the defensive driving course all cost money, too." I looked it up on the Service Nova Scotia on-line schedule of fees, and to legally get behind the wheel is going to cost a minimum of $144, not counting the renewals.
Be it brand new or used, in most cases you're going to pay dearly for a car. According to Google, the average price of a mid-sized family sedan is $20,000, and the average monthly car payment is $300 per family. "That's just to own it and park it in your driveway!" I told him, but he was quick to remind me that his father would be covering that part of the tab. I wasn't about to argue, I had too much left to cover before he lost interest.
Now, insurance. Let's say, conservatively, that a policy for full coverage, which is necessary most times to be approved for financing, costs about $1200 per year. "Oh, that's right! Since you'll be a newly licensed male driver under 25, you might as well double that. While you're at it, stay alert and cross your fingers that you'll have no fender benders or problems with your driving record, because the price of that policy won't take long to skyrocket."
I would be remiss not to mention Service Nova Scotia (herein referred to as the DMV, since I'm from the old-ish school) as it's own vehicular consequence. Any driver can speak of the impatience and frustration thick in the air at most DMV waiting areas, and I felt it only right to warn my son. "You take a number and wait for what seems like days amongst the heat, the smells, the lady tapping her fingernails on the chair, the recycled air, even the occasional man who's been waiting so long that he's fallen asleep and now snores like a bear in the corner. I would be scared to tally up the hours of my life that have been wasted in line at the DMV, but that's what happens when you own a car. You've been warned."
"But, it's once you get to the counter that the real pain starts. First, fork over the money to register the vehicle ($11.50, last I checked). Then, get yourself a license plate at a whopping $159, not counting the renewals every two years."
"Before you hop in your new ride and drive away, you have to make sure it's inspected, somewhere in the neighborhood of $150, unless you need repairs to pass the inspection, at which point your poor bank card will surely be screaming for mercy. Now you're ready to roll! Unless you need new tires, which you usually do with a used car. Then you can tack on another $500 or so, assuming you find a good deal."
"So, let's assume for story's sake that Dad will indeed buy you a car and even make the car payment." (I wish you could have heard me laughing). "Do you still think a part-time job will make up the difference?" I added it up for him: he'll need $500 for his first trip to the DMV (plus the cash to cover tax on the purchase price if it's a used vehicle). After that, it will cost at least $100 every month for insurance (probably much more), and then it's the business of gas, oil changes, wiper fluid, and any other maintenance.
And I made sure to remind him to pay attention: his license, those plates, and the inspection all have to be renewed regularly, so he'll be as big a fixture at the DMV as anyone else.
I like to think I taught him a lesson in the cost of living, responsibilities of a car owner, and how money doesn't go far. I wanted all my preaching to sink in and have him say, "You're right, Mom. I'll never be able to afford a car and I don't need one anyway. I'll stay home forever. Three cheers for bicycles!!!"
Who was I kidding. He wasn't even phased and spent that afternoon at Canadian Tire looking at cool floor mats and stereos.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Make a Difference This Christmas
This is the time of year when I start thinking about Christmas. Not the tree and garland kind of thinking, but the necessary, time-sensitive stuff.
Every year, my kids are lucky to have a great Christmas. I'm not rich, don't make that assumption; I'm proud to say I can be pretty cheap, and access toys/clothes/extras make me twitch a little, knowing how wasteful it is. I just mean considering the state of the world today, they're very lucky children to enjoy this extent of comfort and plenty.
What is very important to me is that my kids not take advantage of those things. They're aged 4 and 11 so, of course, they're not going to appreciate the gravity of an adult conversation about poverty and homelessness, but I still try to impress upon them how fortunate they are.
It's so easy to forget, while shopping and wrapping and baking, how many, many people don't have a home. A bed. A hat. Breakfast. So many things we take for granted every day, and especially around the holidays.
That is why I started a little tradition a few years ago, before my youngest was even born. Every year at this time, we do something for a person or family to try to make their Christmas better. While the kids might translate my intention as "do something nice or Santa won't come", I'm hoping in the years to come that our yearly practice will have a lasting effect.
We started with making a donation to Christmas Daddies, even if we couldn't afford it. It might not have amounted to much, but taking it from our pocket and putting it in someone else's was the point, not how much the gift was.
Then myself and my oldest son and I would each fill a shoe box with everyday items like toothbrushes and soap, for shipment to kids overseas in developing countries. One year we even sent boxes to soldiers in Afghanistan.
In more recent years, we've changed things to make the process of gift-giving more hands-on for the kids. Every year we save our Canadian Tire money (and we have lots of it, from filling up our gas tank) and use it to buy children's toys. The boys each pick out a toy for a kid their age, and we then drop them (the gifts, not our kids) in a donation bin to be distributed to children around the Strait area.
Another simple gesture is to donate to the food bank. Every grocery day starting the beginning of November, each of the kids picks up one or two non-perishable food items to put in the cart, and when we get home it goes in a box in the kitchen. Around the middle of December, we go through our own cupboards and add to the box, and then deliver the box to a local food bank. It doesn't cost a great deal, but it could make a big difference to someone who needs it.
Something that has proven the most rewarding for the kids is organizing their toys, which we'll be doing next weekend. In order to make room for new Christmas presents, I clean out every toy box, drawer, and closet, and keep only what the kids play with on a regular basis. Everything else in good shape (regardless of how new it is) goes in a box and is taken to a church or similar organization for distribution to less fortunate children. The most important part of this process, however, isn't giving away the unwanted toys; they also have to pick one toy that they really like to put in the box, based on the idea that they're making a personal sacrifice, no matter how small, in order to benefit someone else.
I'm not trying to be boastful. We're not the patron saints of generosity and I'm not looking for a "you're so giving" award. We do small things in order to teach our kids it's important to pay it forward, in hopes that if we ever find ourselves without, there will be others willing to help us.
If you have children, I encourage you to teach them the true meaning of Christmas by giving of themselves in some small way. It will fill their hearts with true joy, the way no present ever could.
If you are an individual in need, submit your name to the church, or to some other charitable organization. There are many people willing to share their good fortune until you get your's back.
If you are involved with an organization that accepts donations for people and families in need, please advertise that need and people in this area are sure to come through.
If we all work together, this Christmas can be plentiful for everyone.
Every year, my kids are lucky to have a great Christmas. I'm not rich, don't make that assumption; I'm proud to say I can be pretty cheap, and access toys/clothes/extras make me twitch a little, knowing how wasteful it is. I just mean considering the state of the world today, they're very lucky children to enjoy this extent of comfort and plenty.
What is very important to me is that my kids not take advantage of those things. They're aged 4 and 11 so, of course, they're not going to appreciate the gravity of an adult conversation about poverty and homelessness, but I still try to impress upon them how fortunate they are.
It's so easy to forget, while shopping and wrapping and baking, how many, many people don't have a home. A bed. A hat. Breakfast. So many things we take for granted every day, and especially around the holidays.
That is why I started a little tradition a few years ago, before my youngest was even born. Every year at this time, we do something for a person or family to try to make their Christmas better. While the kids might translate my intention as "do something nice or Santa won't come", I'm hoping in the years to come that our yearly practice will have a lasting effect.
We started with making a donation to Christmas Daddies, even if we couldn't afford it. It might not have amounted to much, but taking it from our pocket and putting it in someone else's was the point, not how much the gift was.
Then myself and my oldest son and I would each fill a shoe box with everyday items like toothbrushes and soap, for shipment to kids overseas in developing countries. One year we even sent boxes to soldiers in Afghanistan.
In more recent years, we've changed things to make the process of gift-giving more hands-on for the kids. Every year we save our Canadian Tire money (and we have lots of it, from filling up our gas tank) and use it to buy children's toys. The boys each pick out a toy for a kid their age, and we then drop them (the gifts, not our kids) in a donation bin to be distributed to children around the Strait area.
Another simple gesture is to donate to the food bank. Every grocery day starting the beginning of November, each of the kids picks up one or two non-perishable food items to put in the cart, and when we get home it goes in a box in the kitchen. Around the middle of December, we go through our own cupboards and add to the box, and then deliver the box to a local food bank. It doesn't cost a great deal, but it could make a big difference to someone who needs it.
Something that has proven the most rewarding for the kids is organizing their toys, which we'll be doing next weekend. In order to make room for new Christmas presents, I clean out every toy box, drawer, and closet, and keep only what the kids play with on a regular basis. Everything else in good shape (regardless of how new it is) goes in a box and is taken to a church or similar organization for distribution to less fortunate children. The most important part of this process, however, isn't giving away the unwanted toys; they also have to pick one toy that they really like to put in the box, based on the idea that they're making a personal sacrifice, no matter how small, in order to benefit someone else.
I'm not trying to be boastful. We're not the patron saints of generosity and I'm not looking for a "you're so giving" award. We do small things in order to teach our kids it's important to pay it forward, in hopes that if we ever find ourselves without, there will be others willing to help us.
If you have children, I encourage you to teach them the true meaning of Christmas by giving of themselves in some small way. It will fill their hearts with true joy, the way no present ever could.
If you are an individual in need, submit your name to the church, or to some other charitable organization. There are many people willing to share their good fortune until you get your's back.
If you are involved with an organization that accepts donations for people and families in need, please advertise that need and people in this area are sure to come through.
If we all work together, this Christmas can be plentiful for everyone.
The TV War Rages On
There is, for all intents and purposes, an active campaign taking place in Canada. Maybe not a political one, but it's a hard-fought, divisive, choose-a-side campaign to be sure.
Let's see if I get this right.
One minute, a commercial airs talking about rich cable providers stealing local TV signals like CTV and CBC and paying nothing. Please support local TV, it says. Brought to you by the folks at the TV stations.
The next minute, another commercial airs talking about greedy local stations wanting to charge us consumers a monthly $10 TV tax even though they made lots of profits already. Say no to the TV tax, it says. Brought to you by the cable providers.
The purpose of each commercial is to discredit the claims of the other, and it's becoming a sticky situation: both commercials make excellent points, but don't give all the necessary information one would need to generate an informed opinion one way or the other. Taking information from the "fact sheets" on the respective web sites, I'll try to explain it a bit further.
I'll begin with the local stations, since they drew first blood in the campaign, and I'll use CTV as an example. Their argument is relatively simple; CTV broadcasts our local news from affiliate stations all over the country. When you subscribe to cable or satellite (I'll use Eastlink as an example), you're paying for all the channels included in your package, which always includes CTV.
The point of contention is that Eastlink doesn't have to pay CTV anything for airing their channel, even though many people might be subscribing to that package specifically to get CTV. CTV argues that they should be able to negotiate appropriate compensation from the cable and satellite companies for the distribution of the local stations' signal. They just want to be paid for their product by the people who use and re-sell it.
On the other side of the coin, cable and satellite companies point out that CTV is available for free (remember a bunny-ears antenna on top of your television set? That still works, even though few people go that route). How can you be accused of stealing something that is not only free, but that Eastlink is obligated by law to carry?
Also, the carriage of CTV by Eastlink allows broadcasting in a higher quality format and to a far larger number of customers than would be possible through over-the-air transmitting. This enables CTV to charge more for ad minutes and make more money, which cable companies argue is compensation enough. If CTV keeps pushing the CRTC to amend the current policies, a tax will likely be implemented, which would be absorbed by the customers.
See the problem?
CTV is right. If cable companies are using their signal and re-selling it to us, CTV should see some of those profits. While I don't agree with local stations using the "save local television, we're going bankrupt" speech (together the big television companies boasted a $400 million dollar profit last year alone, between local stations and specialty channels), they make a good point: if you're charging for something we provide, we should get a cut. If Eastlink was airing CTV for free, fine; but since cable bills have risen to more than four times the cost of living in the past five years, I'd say shelling over a few bucks to CTV might only be fair.
But, Eastlink is right, too. If everyone decides to revert back to rabbit-ears tomorrow, they'll get CTV for free. Cable and satellite companies are merely redistributing the signal because the CRTC gives them no choice, so why should they have to pay for something that has always been, and likely always will be, free? Especially since it is of great benefit to CTV for Eastlink to carry their signal, as far as advertising and distribution is concerned?
Fact is, neither side is wrong; if Eastlink wasn't legally required to carry CTV and is was dealt with just like a specialty channel (like TSN and The Food Network), Eastlink could offer CTV only to those customers who wanted it, and charge accordingly. That way, Eastlink and CTV would both make money and the product used would be paid for fairly.
Unfortunately, just about any solution to this problem will pass an additional cost onto us, the viewers. Whether it be this mystery "TV Tax" or some other imposed fee, what doesn't seem fair is that it will be shouldered by people who do not post yearly profits in the millions of dollars.
As for me, I think Steve Murphy should just take a pay-cut. Problem solved!
(You can visit www.localtvmatters.com and www.stopthetvtax.com for more information on the debate.)
Let's see if I get this right.
One minute, a commercial airs talking about rich cable providers stealing local TV signals like CTV and CBC and paying nothing. Please support local TV, it says. Brought to you by the folks at the TV stations.
The next minute, another commercial airs talking about greedy local stations wanting to charge us consumers a monthly $10 TV tax even though they made lots of profits already. Say no to the TV tax, it says. Brought to you by the cable providers.
The purpose of each commercial is to discredit the claims of the other, and it's becoming a sticky situation: both commercials make excellent points, but don't give all the necessary information one would need to generate an informed opinion one way or the other. Taking information from the "fact sheets" on the respective web sites, I'll try to explain it a bit further.
I'll begin with the local stations, since they drew first blood in the campaign, and I'll use CTV as an example. Their argument is relatively simple; CTV broadcasts our local news from affiliate stations all over the country. When you subscribe to cable or satellite (I'll use Eastlink as an example), you're paying for all the channels included in your package, which always includes CTV.
The point of contention is that Eastlink doesn't have to pay CTV anything for airing their channel, even though many people might be subscribing to that package specifically to get CTV. CTV argues that they should be able to negotiate appropriate compensation from the cable and satellite companies for the distribution of the local stations' signal. They just want to be paid for their product by the people who use and re-sell it.
On the other side of the coin, cable and satellite companies point out that CTV is available for free (remember a bunny-ears antenna on top of your television set? That still works, even though few people go that route). How can you be accused of stealing something that is not only free, but that Eastlink is obligated by law to carry?
Also, the carriage of CTV by Eastlink allows broadcasting in a higher quality format and to a far larger number of customers than would be possible through over-the-air transmitting. This enables CTV to charge more for ad minutes and make more money, which cable companies argue is compensation enough. If CTV keeps pushing the CRTC to amend the current policies, a tax will likely be implemented, which would be absorbed by the customers.
See the problem?
CTV is right. If cable companies are using their signal and re-selling it to us, CTV should see some of those profits. While I don't agree with local stations using the "save local television, we're going bankrupt" speech (together the big television companies boasted a $400 million dollar profit last year alone, between local stations and specialty channels), they make a good point: if you're charging for something we provide, we should get a cut. If Eastlink was airing CTV for free, fine; but since cable bills have risen to more than four times the cost of living in the past five years, I'd say shelling over a few bucks to CTV might only be fair.
But, Eastlink is right, too. If everyone decides to revert back to rabbit-ears tomorrow, they'll get CTV for free. Cable and satellite companies are merely redistributing the signal because the CRTC gives them no choice, so why should they have to pay for something that has always been, and likely always will be, free? Especially since it is of great benefit to CTV for Eastlink to carry their signal, as far as advertising and distribution is concerned?
Fact is, neither side is wrong; if Eastlink wasn't legally required to carry CTV and is was dealt with just like a specialty channel (like TSN and The Food Network), Eastlink could offer CTV only to those customers who wanted it, and charge accordingly. That way, Eastlink and CTV would both make money and the product used would be paid for fairly.
Unfortunately, just about any solution to this problem will pass an additional cost onto us, the viewers. Whether it be this mystery "TV Tax" or some other imposed fee, what doesn't seem fair is that it will be shouldered by people who do not post yearly profits in the millions of dollars.
As for me, I think Steve Murphy should just take a pay-cut. Problem solved!
(You can visit www.localtvmatters.com and www.stopthetvtax.com for more information on the debate.)
Words from the Costume Connoisseur
Halloween is my Christmas. Not because of the demonic overtones and all that stuff, but because it's the one day a year even adults get to play dress-up.
Ever since I was a kid, I have spent the weeks leading up to October 31st dreaming up the best costumes I could think of. While I may not have always had the time or resources to bring these costumes to life, I can surely appreciate a great effort when I see it.
Vampires and witches, punk rockers and rubber masks, there are always the old reliables. But when you really, and I mean REALLY, want a memorable costume, you have to dig deeper than your run-of-the-mill Halloween garb. A good costume isn't necessarily a character, sometimes it's a concept.
Over the years and in many cities and venues, I've encountered some pretty mind-blowing costumes, and I'm sharing some of those in hopes someone will arrive at my door wearing one.
First, I'd like to pay tribute to the best of the best, my high school and university friend, Amanda Mombourquette. She has a long-standing history of epic costumes she created herself from scratch, and any Halloween connoisseur could learn a thing or two from her ideas. The consummate professional, she always keeps her costume a secret until she shows up at the party.
A few years ago, she came dressed as the Operation board game. On a huge box draped over her shoulders, she had drawn a replica of the human body with labeled parts as seen on the game itself. She wore a blinking red nose and affixed a massive pair of tweezers to her side. That, boys and girls, goes beyond the realm of witches and ghosts.
Another year, she dressed as...no, sorry - she embodied Ms. Swan, the Mad TV character. Not only did she have the clothes and the make-up, she spent the evening in character, which made the esthetic aspects that much more believable. I'm not sure what she's got cooked up for this year, but I can't wait to see the pictures.
When I was 20, I went to the masquerade party at the Liquor Dome in Halifax. Anyone who was ever there on a Saturday night roughly ten years ago knows how packed that place used to get, so imagine my surprise when I walked past a bed. Some guy had constructed a bed, complete with pillows, sheets, blankets, teddy bears, the whole works, out of a refrigerator box (I know because I asked him). His head was situated to make it look like he was laying in the bed, even though he was walking around beneath it, and the form of a body had been stuffed under the blankets. It was cumbersome to say the least, and he won best costume of the night, which based on commitment and discomfort alone was well deserved.
Last year, a grown man came to my door (don't get me started) wearing regular clothes, and nothing of note except for a wide-brimmed hat with a leaf hanging from the front. When I asked him what he was supposed to be, he said, "a leaf blower", and proceeded to blow on the leaf dangling in front of his face. As disconcerting as it was to see someone close to my age trick-or-treating, I had to have a laugh at his choice of costume. It may not have been elaborate, but it was great all the same.
Here are a few simple ideas that I've heard about or thought of, but never had the chance to try out.
Dress in black, stick yellow or white tape in two lines up and down your body, and go as a highway. You can even pin dinkies and toy road signs to your clothes.
Dress in grey, and sew strings in various lengths all over your outfit. Attach little cars, houses, people, animals, whatever you can find, to the strings. When people ask what you are, spin around and tell them you're a tornado.
Dress in black, wear a black hat or ski mask, carry a flashlight and a bag with stuffed kittens sticking out, and go out as a cat burglar.
Dress in all pink, tie a sneaker to your head, and be gum under someone's shoe.
Attach cotton balls to a hat and to your clothing to make clouds. When people ask what you are, tell them you're, "cloudy, with a chance of showers" and squirt them with a water gun.
One last idea: if you don't feel like dressing up at all but don't want to be the party-pooper, wear normal clothes and put a sign around your neck that says, "Nudist on Strike."
See? Anyone can enjoy Halloween as much as I do.
Ever since I was a kid, I have spent the weeks leading up to October 31st dreaming up the best costumes I could think of. While I may not have always had the time or resources to bring these costumes to life, I can surely appreciate a great effort when I see it.
Vampires and witches, punk rockers and rubber masks, there are always the old reliables. But when you really, and I mean REALLY, want a memorable costume, you have to dig deeper than your run-of-the-mill Halloween garb. A good costume isn't necessarily a character, sometimes it's a concept.
Over the years and in many cities and venues, I've encountered some pretty mind-blowing costumes, and I'm sharing some of those in hopes someone will arrive at my door wearing one.
First, I'd like to pay tribute to the best of the best, my high school and university friend, Amanda Mombourquette. She has a long-standing history of epic costumes she created herself from scratch, and any Halloween connoisseur could learn a thing or two from her ideas. The consummate professional, she always keeps her costume a secret until she shows up at the party.
A few years ago, she came dressed as the Operation board game. On a huge box draped over her shoulders, she had drawn a replica of the human body with labeled parts as seen on the game itself. She wore a blinking red nose and affixed a massive pair of tweezers to her side. That, boys and girls, goes beyond the realm of witches and ghosts.
Another year, she dressed as...no, sorry - she embodied Ms. Swan, the Mad TV character. Not only did she have the clothes and the make-up, she spent the evening in character, which made the esthetic aspects that much more believable. I'm not sure what she's got cooked up for this year, but I can't wait to see the pictures.
When I was 20, I went to the masquerade party at the Liquor Dome in Halifax. Anyone who was ever there on a Saturday night roughly ten years ago knows how packed that place used to get, so imagine my surprise when I walked past a bed. Some guy had constructed a bed, complete with pillows, sheets, blankets, teddy bears, the whole works, out of a refrigerator box (I know because I asked him). His head was situated to make it look like he was laying in the bed, even though he was walking around beneath it, and the form of a body had been stuffed under the blankets. It was cumbersome to say the least, and he won best costume of the night, which based on commitment and discomfort alone was well deserved.
Last year, a grown man came to my door (don't get me started) wearing regular clothes, and nothing of note except for a wide-brimmed hat with a leaf hanging from the front. When I asked him what he was supposed to be, he said, "a leaf blower", and proceeded to blow on the leaf dangling in front of his face. As disconcerting as it was to see someone close to my age trick-or-treating, I had to have a laugh at his choice of costume. It may not have been elaborate, but it was great all the same.
Here are a few simple ideas that I've heard about or thought of, but never had the chance to try out.
Dress in black, stick yellow or white tape in two lines up and down your body, and go as a highway. You can even pin dinkies and toy road signs to your clothes.
Dress in grey, and sew strings in various lengths all over your outfit. Attach little cars, houses, people, animals, whatever you can find, to the strings. When people ask what you are, spin around and tell them you're a tornado.
Dress in black, wear a black hat or ski mask, carry a flashlight and a bag with stuffed kittens sticking out, and go out as a cat burglar.
Dress in all pink, tie a sneaker to your head, and be gum under someone's shoe.
Attach cotton balls to a hat and to your clothing to make clouds. When people ask what you are, tell them you're, "cloudy, with a chance of showers" and squirt them with a water gun.
One last idea: if you don't feel like dressing up at all but don't want to be the party-pooper, wear normal clothes and put a sign around your neck that says, "Nudist on Strike."
See? Anyone can enjoy Halloween as much as I do.
Thankful
Thanksgiving is the most under-appreciated holiday. No one really decorates, there isn't a big lead-up, and when it's over, people are too busy talking about Halloween and Christmas to reminisce about the day that just passed.
I'm guilty myself. The meaning of Thanksgiving has often become lost in the naps and the turkey and the long weekend. This year, I'm making a point to say what I'm thankful for.
I'm thankful for my health. While it may not be perfect, I could be much worse off, and in the grand scheme of things I don't have any room to complain. I'm able to walk, to play with my kids, to watch the world around me, and to spend time at home instead of in a hospital. There are people with cancer and ALS and hundreds of other ailments who remind me how lucky I am to have my health.
I'm thankful for a husband who not only got up early Sunday morning to put the turkey in the oven, but who also peeled, cooked, and prepared all the vegetables and side dishes while I visited with my family in River Bourgeois, and even did the dishes afterward. We get to spend all our time together, enjoy the present, and talk about the future. We're best friends, and I'm thankful that he chose me to be his wife. There are women who have become widows, or who spend holidays alone, who remind me how lucky I am to have my husband.
I'm thankful for two smart, happy and healthy boys who breathe life into our house. They might also destroy said house in the process, but it's when they're gone and the house is quiet that we remember how important all that noise and chaos is to our continued happiness. There are people who have lost a child, or who can't conceive, who remind me how lucky I am to have my kids.
I'm thankful for my house. It might be modest, but it's where I am the most comfortable and it's mine. We have heat, water, and electricity, along with a million non-essential services, and considering the state of the world, that's about all a person can ask for. There are homeless people, and people living in deplorable conditions, who remind me how lucky I am to have a home.
I am thankful that my husband has a good job. We might not own a yacht or summer in Greece, but we get by without having to worry too much about how. Not only that, his job is at home, which means he doesn't have to go away for months at a time in order to provide for his family. There are people who have to sell their most valuable belongings to buy groceries, and men working away from their families all year long, who remind me how lucky I am that my husband has a good job.
I am thankful for my car. It may be a very material thing, but I haven't always had one, and I know what a challenge and a hassle it can be to live your life when you have to rely on others to drive you from place to place. Being able to jump in a reliable, comfortable vehicle and go where I need to go is a luxury I appreciate. There are single mothers who walk all over town and people who miss doctor's appointments because they have no transportation, who make me realize how lucky I am to have a car.
I am thankful for my extended family. My dad, who is always ready with sound advice when I need it; my siblings, who are some of my oldest friends; my grandparents, who after over 93 birthdays apiece and 69 years of marriage, continue to set a great example of how life is meant to be lived; my friends, many of whom I consider to be family, and for good reason; and to all of my other extended family members who contribute to my life in so many positive ways. There are World Vision commercials and episodes of Oprah to remind me how lucky I am to have my family.
Lastly, I am thankful for Cape Breton. Of all the places I have lived, nowhere compares to the way of life lived in this beautiful little island. I am so glad to be able to raise my kids in a town where everyone knows everyone else (whether they always want to or not) and everyone looks out for everyone else (whether or not they even realize they're doing it). There are news reports out of Detroit and Toronto that remind me how lucky I am to have Cape Breton.
I hope everyone takes the time to remember what they're thankful for.
I'm guilty myself. The meaning of Thanksgiving has often become lost in the naps and the turkey and the long weekend. This year, I'm making a point to say what I'm thankful for.
I'm thankful for my health. While it may not be perfect, I could be much worse off, and in the grand scheme of things I don't have any room to complain. I'm able to walk, to play with my kids, to watch the world around me, and to spend time at home instead of in a hospital. There are people with cancer and ALS and hundreds of other ailments who remind me how lucky I am to have my health.
I'm thankful for a husband who not only got up early Sunday morning to put the turkey in the oven, but who also peeled, cooked, and prepared all the vegetables and side dishes while I visited with my family in River Bourgeois, and even did the dishes afterward. We get to spend all our time together, enjoy the present, and talk about the future. We're best friends, and I'm thankful that he chose me to be his wife. There are women who have become widows, or who spend holidays alone, who remind me how lucky I am to have my husband.
I'm thankful for two smart, happy and healthy boys who breathe life into our house. They might also destroy said house in the process, but it's when they're gone and the house is quiet that we remember how important all that noise and chaos is to our continued happiness. There are people who have lost a child, or who can't conceive, who remind me how lucky I am to have my kids.
I'm thankful for my house. It might be modest, but it's where I am the most comfortable and it's mine. We have heat, water, and electricity, along with a million non-essential services, and considering the state of the world, that's about all a person can ask for. There are homeless people, and people living in deplorable conditions, who remind me how lucky I am to have a home.
I am thankful that my husband has a good job. We might not own a yacht or summer in Greece, but we get by without having to worry too much about how. Not only that, his job is at home, which means he doesn't have to go away for months at a time in order to provide for his family. There are people who have to sell their most valuable belongings to buy groceries, and men working away from their families all year long, who remind me how lucky I am that my husband has a good job.
I am thankful for my car. It may be a very material thing, but I haven't always had one, and I know what a challenge and a hassle it can be to live your life when you have to rely on others to drive you from place to place. Being able to jump in a reliable, comfortable vehicle and go where I need to go is a luxury I appreciate. There are single mothers who walk all over town and people who miss doctor's appointments because they have no transportation, who make me realize how lucky I am to have a car.
I am thankful for my extended family. My dad, who is always ready with sound advice when I need it; my siblings, who are some of my oldest friends; my grandparents, who after over 93 birthdays apiece and 69 years of marriage, continue to set a great example of how life is meant to be lived; my friends, many of whom I consider to be family, and for good reason; and to all of my other extended family members who contribute to my life in so many positive ways. There are World Vision commercials and episodes of Oprah to remind me how lucky I am to have my family.
Lastly, I am thankful for Cape Breton. Of all the places I have lived, nowhere compares to the way of life lived in this beautiful little island. I am so glad to be able to raise my kids in a town where everyone knows everyone else (whether they always want to or not) and everyone looks out for everyone else (whether or not they even realize they're doing it). There are news reports out of Detroit and Toronto that remind me how lucky I am to have Cape Breton.
I hope everyone takes the time to remember what they're thankful for.
Keeping the Faith
I went to church every weekend from the time I was about five years old, until I graduated from high school. I don't mean usually, I mean every weekend without exception. When I was younger, around the time I made my First Communion, I'd even go with my grandfather once or twice during the week. At the River Bourgeois School, the first hour of every Thursday was set aside for religion class.
I was an alter server from the time I was old enough to be until I was nearly the height of the priest, and I was always in Youth Group. I may not have been the most devout parishioner (that title would be hard to earn considering the competition), but to say I was a God-fearing, faithful church-goer is a fair statement. I'm not just a big-mouth with a bone to pick; I feel strongly that I have experience and knowledge to guide my words on this subject.
As a young girl, I believed that the church was above the law and would have defended just about any aspect of the Catholic religion. Even if someone made a valid point about an inconsistency or negative point within Catholicism, I was quick to point out that Catholics were only responsible for following the rules, not making or enforcing them. Don't lie, cheat, steal, swear, or kill, or else you go to Hell. It didn't have to make sense, necessarily; belief in what I had been taught trumped everything.
And this Hell business isn't an exaggeration. I had a priest in junior high school tell a girl in our grade 7-8 religion class that she would go to Hell if she lied to her parents or kissed a boy before she was married. I was in the room when he said it, and I remember her running to the bathroom in tears. And, even though I was old enough to know that was wrong, I stayed loyal to the Catholic Church, no questions asked.
I was unmarried when I had my first son in 1998. Like everyone else from River Bourgeois, I expected to have him baptized at St. John the Baptist Church. Imagine my confusion when the priest in the community at the time, told me he wouldn't baptize my son because he was conceived out of wedlock. That was very difficult for me to accept, and it deeply upset and embarrassed me. Luckily, Fr. Hughie D. MacDonald, in my estimation the greatest priest in the entire world, baptized him in Isle Madame without hesitation, and my faith was renewed.
When my second son was born, I still wasn't married yet. And, when we attempted to have him baptized in the community to which we had just moved, we were told it couldn't be done unless we had proof that we had regularly attended Mass somewhere for at least two years. Again, we found a way, and still, I didn't lose faith.
I tried to enroll my oldest son in religion classes a few years ago. The person I encountered was so rude and dismissive of me and my "lack of commitment to the Church", that I left abruptly and never took him back. While I had to wonder how the church, inclusive and accepting as it claimed to be, could again make me feel like I didn't belong, I STILL didn't lose faith.
Faith isn't something people are questioning in light of what has happened recently within the Catholic church. My beliefs are unwavering, and little that could happen in the news is capable of changing that. However, Catholics all over the country are questioning the church - maybe not you in particular, but many people are. To those calling this questioning a "lack of faith", understand that it has less to do with God than with the men who claim to represent him.
It's that same feeling you'd have, for lack of a better analogy, if you heard of a police officer injuring someone while drinking and driving. It's a terrible and dangerous thing for the average person to do, but for the very person and institution that vocally admonishes such behavior to be responsible for such a horrendous act, is blatant hypocrisy.
I have had my share of run-ins with my church, but it took an incident like the one last week for a decades-long lapse of accountability to translate into serious uncertainty on my part. How can the religious establishment break rules they're so strict about enforcing on me? And how long are we, the faithful, expected to keep our backs turned to modern-day justice in favor of contributing with well-intentioned ignorance to a corrupt structure of resistance?
For me? No longer. And God understands my point of view, just as He does yours.
I was an alter server from the time I was old enough to be until I was nearly the height of the priest, and I was always in Youth Group. I may not have been the most devout parishioner (that title would be hard to earn considering the competition), but to say I was a God-fearing, faithful church-goer is a fair statement. I'm not just a big-mouth with a bone to pick; I feel strongly that I have experience and knowledge to guide my words on this subject.
As a young girl, I believed that the church was above the law and would have defended just about any aspect of the Catholic religion. Even if someone made a valid point about an inconsistency or negative point within Catholicism, I was quick to point out that Catholics were only responsible for following the rules, not making or enforcing them. Don't lie, cheat, steal, swear, or kill, or else you go to Hell. It didn't have to make sense, necessarily; belief in what I had been taught trumped everything.
And this Hell business isn't an exaggeration. I had a priest in junior high school tell a girl in our grade 7-8 religion class that she would go to Hell if she lied to her parents or kissed a boy before she was married. I was in the room when he said it, and I remember her running to the bathroom in tears. And, even though I was old enough to know that was wrong, I stayed loyal to the Catholic Church, no questions asked.
I was unmarried when I had my first son in 1998. Like everyone else from River Bourgeois, I expected to have him baptized at St. John the Baptist Church. Imagine my confusion when the priest in the community at the time, told me he wouldn't baptize my son because he was conceived out of wedlock. That was very difficult for me to accept, and it deeply upset and embarrassed me. Luckily, Fr. Hughie D. MacDonald, in my estimation the greatest priest in the entire world, baptized him in Isle Madame without hesitation, and my faith was renewed.
When my second son was born, I still wasn't married yet. And, when we attempted to have him baptized in the community to which we had just moved, we were told it couldn't be done unless we had proof that we had regularly attended Mass somewhere for at least two years. Again, we found a way, and still, I didn't lose faith.
I tried to enroll my oldest son in religion classes a few years ago. The person I encountered was so rude and dismissive of me and my "lack of commitment to the Church", that I left abruptly and never took him back. While I had to wonder how the church, inclusive and accepting as it claimed to be, could again make me feel like I didn't belong, I STILL didn't lose faith.
Faith isn't something people are questioning in light of what has happened recently within the Catholic church. My beliefs are unwavering, and little that could happen in the news is capable of changing that. However, Catholics all over the country are questioning the church - maybe not you in particular, but many people are. To those calling this questioning a "lack of faith", understand that it has less to do with God than with the men who claim to represent him.
It's that same feeling you'd have, for lack of a better analogy, if you heard of a police officer injuring someone while drinking and driving. It's a terrible and dangerous thing for the average person to do, but for the very person and institution that vocally admonishes such behavior to be responsible for such a horrendous act, is blatant hypocrisy.
I have had my share of run-ins with my church, but it took an incident like the one last week for a decades-long lapse of accountability to translate into serious uncertainty on my part. How can the religious establishment break rules they're so strict about enforcing on me? And how long are we, the faithful, expected to keep our backs turned to modern-day justice in favor of contributing with well-intentioned ignorance to a corrupt structure of resistance?
For me? No longer. And God understands my point of view, just as He does yours.
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