The Ladies & The Twist

Again I missed Big Brother because the info on the TV guide was wrong. We watched American Idol at 9pm, expecting BB to be on at 10pm on NTV, but no dice, we were pissed. Instead, we watched "The Moment of Truth", which might be the greatest show on television. Those people ARE NOT messing around and asking pussyfoot questions. Last night's show was actually a bit milder than usual, but just to give you an idea, this is the type of stuff you can expect. (Keep in mind that the person's husband/wife/mother/siblings/friends are usually right there listening to all this)
"Do you think you're more attractive than your sister?"
"Do you think you're a better mother to your kids than your mother was to you?"
"Does the thought of being spanked by an attractive man excite you?"
"Do you have a secret you think could ruin your marriage?"
"Have you ever fantasized about your brother in law while having sex with your husband?"
"Have you ever stolen money from work?"
"Do you think your ex boyfriend Seamus would be a better provider than your husband?"
"Do you think you'll be married to your wife forever?"
"Would you cheat on your wife if you knew you'd never get caught?"

I swear to god, these are the questions people take strapped to a lie detector test, and then they get on national tv in the company of their friends and family and ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? And most of them actually tell the truth!! Can you imagine? People are willing to ruin their relationships for $100,000. It's pretty sad, but it makes for awesome TV.

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Anyway, even thought I didn't watch BB, based on the recap I just read at CBS.com, it looks like it might be getting good.

At the eviction ceremony, Ryan & Allison were voted out, but just as they were about to leave the house, that big siren sounded and the announcement was made: the game was no longer a couples game, each person was now playing individually. Because of this, all the houseguests now had to vote off only one person, either Ryan OR Allison. Gee, I wonder who was going to get the boot....and there you have it, Allison was evicted, and Ryan became the new HOH. To make matters even more interesting, America is now going to vote on which evicted houseguest they want to RETURN to the BB house. You know it's going to be that poison-hearted Jen, who I loathe and who gets on my very last nerve. Good for BB...they must have realized this season was crap and decided to switch things up a bit.

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As for American Idol, I have to say I'm pretty impressed with the talent pool this year, especially on the guys side. A few things before I run down the girls: Pictures surfaced yesterday of David Hernandez, who's boss sold him out and revealved that he's a male stripper in a "mostly men" club back home. So much for wholesome. And the other, very important item to be discussed: Paula Abdul's drug-induced ramblings. I'm sorry, this is getting out of hand. She can't even put together a sentence! A few years ago she LOOKED really strung out and drugged up, but (even though her appearance doesn't reflect it as much as in the past), I think she's more incoherent this season than she ever was. Just listen to her talk tonight...there are big gaps between words and points that she makes, almost as if she's a kitten being distracted by a flashlight on the wall. Creepy. I would chalk it up to Vicodin & Percocet, moreso than coke or something like that. Definitely prescription meds. And what the hell is she doing to Simon under that table? Weird. I don't think she even knows where she is half the time.

Aaaaaaaanyway, last night was 80s night for the girls too, and wouldn't that just be my crowning glory....I'd never be able to decide on one song, I'd have a montage.

Amanda - She did so much better than I wanted her to do. But really, even though she did ok last night, is that reason enough to keep her in this competition? EVERY SONG SHE SINGS SOUNDS THE SAME, AMERICANS. There is no reason for "Happy Birthday" to sound like a Janis Joplin screamfest. SHE NEEDS TO GO HOME. Wishful thinking, I think she'll probably stay after the judges blew sunshine up her ass for 20 minutes.

Asia - Again, I refuse to put the "...'h...." at the end of her name, so get used to it. She went first, which is automatically a disadvantage. She sang Whitney, which is predictable. By rights, she should be eliminated, if not exacuted, just for those pants she was wearing. And even though she has a great voice, it's too breathy and crackly to pull off Whitney friggin Houston, and she should know that. I think there's a chance she'll leave us tonight.

Brooke - As much as I'd like to see her skipping, stoned, through a field of daisies far away from any American Idol stage, she picks great songs for her mediocre voice. I'm not a big fan of "Love is a Battlefield", but this not-great singer managed to make it sound pretty good. I think she's probably safe, but hopefully we'll only have to put up with her for another week or two.

Carly - She picked a bad song, but man she sang the crap out of it. This girl has some serious pipes! LOVE her. (but, just for the record, those high-waisted jeans were not doing her any favors). She's not going anywhere, so get used to seeing her.

Kady - I think she better sharpen her Britney skills, because she picked a bad song, sang it pretty badly, and sucked performance-wise too. I really like this girl, but unfortunately her Spears impression is much better quality than her actual singing talent. I think she might go home.

Kristy - How very "Shania" of her to constantly stand like she's straddling a horse. I haven't liked this girl from the beginning, and it's only getting worse week by week. She's my choice to go home, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen. I'm hoping she's as forgettable as Simon claims.

Ramiele - This girl is a REALLY good singer, but she looks like Walt Disney threw up on her and she got hit with the Revlon truck at the same time. Maybe I'm just not stylish, but this otherwise beautiful girl insists on dying her hair and dressing like a circus clown as far as I'm concerned. Whatever, she's an awesome singer. I hope she stays.

Syesha - Well look who got the pimp spot, and she did a pretty good job too. She's got a great voice, but I equate her to the female Chikezie, with the old soul singer schtick that ages her years beyond what she's trying to appeal to. She could not have picked a worse Whitney song, my god what a snoozer. Still, with a solid performance and the pimp position, I think she'll stay put.

My prediction: Asia & Kady

Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!