Things I Learned on Twitter

Twitter. It hasn't really caught on here, but it's huge in the States.

Twitter is yet another social networking web site, like Facebook. And like a Facebook status update, Twitter's premise is to have users type what's on their mind or what they're doing, in 140 characters or less. The message you type is called a "tweet".

Once you set up your account, you can "follow" other "tweeters" and read their tweets. Then, when you log in, you can read a scroll of recent tweets posted by those you are following. If I wrote "gina_macdonald is waiting for Hurricane Bill," all the people who follow my updates would be able to see it in real time.

Those are the basics. Have I explained it properly? In a nutshell, I can instantly be made aware of the activities and neuroses of anyone I follow, all day, every day. Talk about literally having the world at your fingertips.

So, upon discovering Twitter a few months ago, I quickly came to find that celebrities were using the site as their own little diary and sounding board; because, you see, unlike Facebook, where you can adjust privacy settings to control who sees what information, your tweets are visible to anyone who follows your account. The result is, celebrities find themselves with hundreds of thousands of followers who hang on their every word. Interesting indeed.

I decided that, since very few of my personal friends have Twitter accounts, I would follow a bunch of famous people and entities, just to see what they're really like. An important note, perhaps better explaining why I chose to do this: every celebrity tweeter I've encountered does the typing themselves, instead of having an agent, publicist or manager filtering what they put out for public consumption. It makes for some entertaining discoveries.

First of all, I've come to find that most people who have opened a Twitter account, tweet once and then forget about it. Either that, or there are months between tweets, which makes it a bit futile to follow them at all.

On the flip side, there are people who have millions of followers and seem to tweet as often as they breath. Here are some observations and a bit of trivia about a few people on my list.

Demi Moore has way too much time on her hands.

Ashton Kutcher, her husband, has more followers than anyone in the world (literally, over 3 million; it's a fact).

Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office) tries and fails to be as funny as his television character.

John Mayer is absurdly intelligent and witty.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Ice-T have both turned their Twitter followers into a cult whose members will fly cross-country to compete in ridiculous contests to win an autograph.

Alyssa Milano knows more about Iran than Stephen Harper, one might argue.

If you read Regis Philbin's tweets aloud, it's extremely difficult not to do so in a Regis voice.

People who have been eliminated from Big Brother don't realize that, once they're not on the show, no one cares that they're even still alive unless they're in the jury house.

People who have been eliminated from American Idol don't realize that, even years after the fact, people love them.

Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter, while quite possibly the two best-looking men alive, are also, based on many months of mindless tweets, the two biggest losers on the planet.

Christina Applegate completes the New York Times crossword every single morning.

Pete Wentz and Nicole Ritchie have insomnia.

Ryan Seacrest just doesn't have time to sleep.

Eminem isn't nearly as ignorant as he tries to be. He's really very smart and charming.

Jordan Knight ignores that his prime was over twenty years ago, and that he's basically the new Donny Osmond.

Jesse Jane eats more than any person I've ever heard of.

Adam Lambert only needed a few months on American Idol to develop a really obnoxious sense of entitlement that other celebrities call him on daily.

Sarah Silverman needs someone to wash her mouth out with soap.

Martha Stewart, very surprisingly, has the worst spelling, grammar, and punctuation I've ever seen.

Weird Al Yankovic is, not surprisingly, extremely delightful and smart.

Paris Hilton is happy and optimistic all the time, and who can blame her.

Lindsay Lohan tries to make herself seem philanthropic, but no one is buying it.

Miley Cyrus tries to be very grown-up, but no one is buying that, either.

And, last but not least, Russell Brand is the funniest man alive.

If anyone is interested, you can follow me on Twitter by searching for "gina_macdonald". Stop by, tweet hi, and give me someone normal to follow. God knows I've had enough of reading about celebrities.