Words from the Costume Connoisseur

Halloween is my Christmas. Not because of the demonic overtones and all that stuff, but because it's the one day a year even adults get to play dress-up.

Ever since I was a kid, I have spent the weeks leading up to October 31st dreaming up the best costumes I could think of. While I may not have always had the time or resources to bring these costumes to life, I can surely appreciate a great effort when I see it.

Vampires and witches, punk rockers and rubber masks, there are always the old reliables. But when you really, and I mean REALLY, want a memorable costume, you have to dig deeper than your run-of-the-mill Halloween garb. A good costume isn't necessarily a character, sometimes it's a concept.

Over the years and in many cities and venues, I've encountered some pretty mind-blowing costumes, and I'm sharing some of those in hopes someone will arrive at my door wearing one.

First, I'd like to pay tribute to the best of the best, my high school and university friend, Amanda Mombourquette. She has a long-standing history of epic costumes she created herself from scratch, and any Halloween connoisseur could learn a thing or two from her ideas. The consummate professional, she always keeps her costume a secret until she shows up at the party.

A few years ago, she came dressed as the Operation board game. On a huge box draped over her shoulders, she had drawn a replica of the human body with labeled parts as seen on the game itself. She wore a blinking red nose and affixed a massive pair of tweezers to her side. That, boys and girls, goes beyond the realm of witches and ghosts.

Another year, she dressed as...no, sorry - she embodied Ms. Swan, the Mad TV character. Not only did she have the clothes and the make-up, she spent the evening in character, which made the esthetic aspects that much more believable. I'm not sure what she's got cooked up for this year, but I can't wait to see the pictures.

When I was 20, I went to the masquerade party at the Liquor Dome in Halifax. Anyone who was ever there on a Saturday night roughly ten years ago knows how packed that place used to get, so imagine my surprise when I walked past a bed. Some guy had constructed a bed, complete with pillows, sheets, blankets, teddy bears, the whole works, out of a refrigerator box (I know because I asked him). His head was situated to make it look like he was laying in the bed, even though he was walking around beneath it, and the form of a body had been stuffed under the blankets. It was cumbersome to say the least, and he won best costume of the night, which based on commitment and discomfort alone was well deserved.

Last year, a grown man came to my door (don't get me started) wearing regular clothes, and nothing of note except for a wide-brimmed hat with a leaf hanging from the front. When I asked him what he was supposed to be, he said, "a leaf blower", and proceeded to blow on the leaf dangling in front of his face. As disconcerting as it was to see someone close to my age trick-or-treating, I had to have a laugh at his choice of costume. It may not have been elaborate, but it was great all the same.

Here are a few simple ideas that I've heard about or thought of, but never had the chance to try out.

Dress in black, stick yellow or white tape in two lines up and down your body, and go as a highway. You can even pin dinkies and toy road signs to your clothes.

Dress in grey, and sew strings in various lengths all over your outfit. Attach little cars, houses, people, animals, whatever you can find, to the strings. When people ask what you are, spin around and tell them you're a tornado.

Dress in black, wear a black hat or ski mask, carry a flashlight and a bag with stuffed kittens sticking out, and go out as a cat burglar.

Dress in all pink, tie a sneaker to your head, and be gum under someone's shoe.

Attach cotton balls to a hat and to your clothing to make clouds. When people ask what you are, tell them you're, "cloudy, with a chance of showers" and squirt them with a water gun.

One last idea: if you don't feel like dressing up at all but don't want to be the party-pooper, wear normal clothes and put a sign around your neck that says, "Nudist on Strike."

See? Anyone can enjoy Halloween as much as I do.