Three Cheers for Bicycles

The other day, I overheard my oldest son telling his friend, "When I turn 16, Dad is getting me a car."

Not likely, if Mom has anything to say about it, but that's besides the point of my story.

Like any other devil's advocate, I began to badger him about the costs associated with owning a vehicle, and it occurred to me how staggeringly expensive a luxury it is in this day and age. I laid it out for him to absorb.

"It's not exactly cheap to get your driver's license," I told him. "Not only do you have to pay to take a beginners' test, but the road test, the licensing itself and the defensive driving course all cost money, too." I looked it up on the Service Nova Scotia on-line schedule of fees, and to legally get behind the wheel is going to cost a minimum of $144, not counting the renewals.

Be it brand new or used, in most cases you're going to pay dearly for a car. According to Google, the average price of a mid-sized family sedan is $20,000, and the average monthly car payment is $300 per family. "That's just to own it and park it in your driveway!" I told him, but he was quick to remind me that his father would be covering that part of the tab. I wasn't about to argue, I had too much left to cover before he lost interest.

Now, insurance. Let's say, conservatively, that a policy for full coverage, which is necessary most times to be approved for financing, costs about $1200 per year. "Oh, that's right! Since you'll be a newly licensed male driver under 25, you might as well double that. While you're at it, stay alert and cross your fingers that you'll have no fender benders or problems with your driving record, because the price of that policy won't take long to skyrocket."

I would be remiss not to mention Service Nova Scotia (herein referred to as the DMV, since I'm from the old-ish school) as it's own vehicular consequence. Any driver can speak of the impatience and frustration thick in the air at most DMV waiting areas, and I felt it only right to warn my son. "You take a number and wait for what seems like days amongst the heat, the smells, the lady tapping her fingernails on the chair, the recycled air, even the occasional man who's been waiting so long that he's fallen asleep and now snores like a bear in the corner. I would be scared to tally up the hours of my life that have been wasted in line at the DMV, but that's what happens when you own a car. You've been warned."

"But, it's once you get to the counter that the real pain starts. First, fork over the money to register the vehicle ($11.50, last I checked). Then, get yourself a license plate at a whopping $159, not counting the renewals every two years."

"Before you hop in your new ride and drive away, you have to make sure it's inspected, somewhere in the neighborhood of $150, unless you need repairs to pass the inspection, at which point your poor bank card will surely be screaming for mercy. Now you're ready to roll! Unless you need new tires, which you usually do with a used car. Then you can tack on another $500 or so, assuming you find a good deal."

"So, let's assume for story's sake that Dad will indeed buy you a car and even make the car payment." (I wish you could have heard me laughing). "Do you still think a part-time job will make up the difference?" I added it up for him: he'll need $500 for his first trip to the DMV (plus the cash to cover tax on the purchase price if it's a used vehicle). After that, it will cost at least $100 every month for insurance (probably much more), and then it's the business of gas, oil changes, wiper fluid, and any other maintenance.

And I made sure to remind him to pay attention: his license, those plates, and the inspection all have to be renewed regularly, so he'll be as big a fixture at the DMV as anyone else.

I like to think I taught him a lesson in the cost of living, responsibilities of a car owner, and how money doesn't go far. I wanted all my preaching to sink in and have him say, "You're right, Mom. I'll never be able to afford a car and I don't need one anyway. I'll stay home forever. Three cheers for bicycles!!!"

Who was I kidding. He wasn't even phased and spent that afternoon at Canadian Tire looking at cool floor mats and stereos.