Setting a Bad Example

I promised myself that I wouldn't spend my life caring about celebrities, but considering how bombarded we are with their movements, it's hard to not take notice when something "big" happens.

In the past few weeks, all talk has been about Rihanna and Chris Brown. Were it the release of a new video or a salacious yarn, I wouldn't waste my time or yours. However, this bit of gossip is much more serious.

Rihanna and Brown have been an item for some time, and like any young couple, they always appeared to be happy and content when they were together. On the night of the Grammy Awards, where both were set to perform, news broke that neither would be attending. Before long, buzz on the internet pointed toward an "incident" between the two, and news sources had the scoop within hours.

In the early morning hours the night before the Grammys, Rihanna and Brown got in an argument in their car on the way home from a party. The argument quickly escalated into a violent altercation between the two. While initial reports didn't specify the details or seriousness of the incident, documents released yesterday told a very sad and shocking tale. (While he has been charged, he has not yet been found guilty, so consider all statements to be prefaced with "allegedly".)

"...(He) took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the vehicle causing a raised circular contusion.

(He) punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused (her) mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle."

These assaults, directly quoted from the notes of the detective in charge of the case, are, unfortunately, only the tip of the iceberg. Brown bit, kicked, punched, and choked Rihanna until she almost lost consciousness. The leaked photo of her injuries, taken within hours of the brawl, was horrifying to see. The otherwise drop-dead-gorgeous superstar was almost unrecognizable with all the cuts and swelling on her face. What a terrible beating she must have taken.

Of course, both Rihanna and Brown disappeared into seclusion immediately. Hearts were bleeding the world over for the charming and talented young singer who had suffered so publicly at the hand of her abusive boyfriend. Soon the history of violence in their relationship was uncovered and Brown was charged with felony assault and uttering threats.

I couldn't have been more bewildered to hear a few days ago that the couple had recently reconciled.

What in the flippity flip did you say, Anderson Cooper? Can that be true? No! She's got to be smarter than that, isn't she?

This is a girl with the world at her feet. She's got money coming out of her ears, a huge support system, and every resource imaginable is available to her. How can this happen?

Rihanna has millions of fans all over the globe, plenty of whom are female, and plenty of whom are young, impressionable girls in relationships. What kind of message is she sending to her fans when she reconciles with the man who, only weeks earlier, beat her so badly? It's an irresponsible and shameful example to set.

Domestic violence is something I don't fully understand, since I've never seen it for myself. I've been lucky enough to know people who think hitting their wives and girlfriends is wrong, and the one or two assaults I have been made aware of within my lifetime have been met with complete friendship eradication, if you will.

But, there is one thing I understand perfectly: regardless of the circumstances, domestic abuse is inexcusable. Everyone gets mad and loses their temper; sometimes we push each other's buttons; other times, we might do something so implorable it calls for divorce; but never, NEVER, is behavior or emotion cause for violence toward the person you're supposed to love the most.

It angers me to such poor judgment and disregard from a woman looked to by so many as an idol, especially since she has a team of savvy publicists who should have prevented it from happening.

Brown has lost all his endorsements, the respect of the music industry, and pretty much his whole career. For all intents and purposes, he's a lost cause; however, Rihanna had the opportunity to show everyone what a strong woman would do in the face of domestic violence, and she failed miserably at that job.

Somewhere, Susan B. Anthony is rolling over in her grave.