2008 Much Music Video Awards

I have to say, I was surprisingly impressed by this year's awards show. Much Music has always had a campy, trying-so-hard-to-be-the-MTV-VMAs-but-just-not-getting-it-right kind of show, but this year was different.

Right off the top, I loved that it wasn't 7 hours long. Most awards shows involve one or two good performances and another few hours of useless filler, but MM got it right: pack it tight with good stuff, and then call it a night.

Also, the whole street being closed down, the block party feel, is very cool.

I'll try to keep this a point-for-point commentary.

First of all, Devon Soltengeek (or whatever his name is) needs to stay the hell out of the tanning booth for a few weeks. Seriously dude, you're somewhere between Posh Spice and George Hamilton.

I loved that the guys from Sum 41 wore New Kids t-shirts. Totally stole my idea, 'cause that's what I would have wore, too. You go, Cone.

Someone should let Dwight Schrute that he's really not that big a star. There were rumours of a bit of a diva attitude during the show, which is really funny. Apparently he wouldn't introduce one act because they weren't popular enough. Are you kidding me? Neither are you! It would have been a perfect fit! He's one of these guys who should just be in character all the time since their real personality is obnoxious and far less enjoyable than their TV persona.

Back to Devon Soltendiek (or whatever his name is) briefly....when he mentioned having a girlfriend I almost fell on the floor. He's straight? Really? I've never seen a straight guy with pants that snug and hair that...well...odd. I always thought he was dating the cute little guyliner-wearing fella from Simple Plan. They'd make a cute couple.

Best red carpet moment: a big, expensive car rolls up and this chick struts out. Is it Bai Ling? Um, no. Who the hell is that? Everyone is cheering for her so she must be someone. Is that Sean Kingston? Oh that's his girlfriend! A complete nobody, yet she's working the red carpet and lapping up the attention like she's Mariah Carey. Love it. Moving along...

Note to the powers that be at MM: Nobody cares about The Hills. The only reason anyone knows who they are is because they're always on Perez Hilton. Get real celebrities next year. And no, Brody Jenner isn't cute. He kind of looks like he doesn't shower.

Jesse MacCartney, on the other hand, is the hotness. He always was, but now I feel better about saying it, since he's of legal age.

Perez looked great! He lost a lot of weight, and his suits were very dapper.

Why has no one pointed out the obvious and uncanny resemblance between the blonde chick from Girlicious and Mandy Moore? That always bothered me. They look so much alike and I've never even heard it mentioned.

Chase Crawford is the prettiest little boy I've seen in years.

Rhianna is an excellent performer, she's sounded good every time I've seen her. She sings live, unlike most others on awards shows, and she kills it every time. But hun, you could have done without those pants. I'm just saying.

Here's an excerpt from "The Robin Antin Girlicious/Pussycat Dolls Dance Manual": stand backwards, look over your shoulder; give your hair a "barely avoiding spinal injury" kind of whip and run your hands up the side of your body; walk in an exaggerated fashion toward the front of the stage while pointing at the crowd; do the Shakira ass-shake thing; aaaaaaaand....repeat.

Let's skip to Hedley. That Hoggard guy...man, can he sing. I think he's fantastic. There's something about him...I was going to say a quiet confidence, but it's anything but quiet. He's very comfortable in his own skin, and that is very attractive (even in denim capris, bare feet, and donning a fuscia fanny pack). Still, you could never convince me he isn't bisexual.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. You know what I'm talking about - it's the New Kids on the Block.
You can't imagine the weird grade 3 butterflies I had in the 30 seconds before these guys took the stage. Did they sing well? Um, that would be a big "N-O". Were they back in full force? Um, no again. They actually looked bored and embarassed. But no matter! Who cares? They're the friggin' New Kids on the Block!
One of my oldest friends (yes, I'm talking about you, Amy) works at Much Music. Now I can't be certain if she met them, if she was even there, but I know somewhere in Toronto on Sunday night, whether she is willing to admit it or not (which I'm sure she is), Amy was all teeth, and possibly even grooving to "The Right Stuff". I'm hoping she gave Joey MacIntyre a rub for me, but all I can do is hope. I hope you lived it for me, Amy.