Nova Scotia Election 2009 - By the Numbers

Number of little campaign signs littering the Strait area for the past month: a zillion.
Average number of dollars each party could potentially save if one large sign was erected in the place of six dozen tiny ones on a row: a zillion.

Number of babies kissed by all party leaders during the campaign: 196.
Rear-ends that enjoyed the same treatment: 7633.

Number of voter registration cards sent to my house by mail and left on top of the fridge in preparation for election day: 2.
Voter registration cards in my house on election day (even after pulling out the fridge and looking for them all morning): 0.

Facebook friends who used their election day status line to encourage their friends to vote: about 30.
Number who specified who their voting preference: 2.
Number who, apparently, didn't realize that voting "against" Rodney MacDonald wasn't an option: 7.
Number of Fort McMurray Facebook friends glued to the computer to get updates from home: 15.

Locations I drove to, stopped at, and drug my uncooperative 4-year-old into, which, as it turned out, were not polling stations at all: 3.
Expletives uttered within that 20 or so minutes, before I found the right place: 78.
Number of people also casting their vote at St. Mark's United Church while I was there: 0.
Number of friends who also reported their polling station was empty at the time they voted: about 20.

Total number of minutes I spent doubting Rodney MacDonald's landslide victory in the Inverness riding: less than 5.
Total number of minutes I spent doubting Rodney MacDonald's eventual, sooner-than-later descension into employment with the Strait regional school board: also less than 5.
Volume, in decibels, of the laughter coming from Karen Casey if she read that: 165.
Percentage of chance that Karen Casey will ever read that: 10%.
Percentage of chance that Karen Casey has ever laughed: 2%.

Number of minutes it took me to fall asleep at around 7:30pm on election night: about 2.
Number of expletives I uttered when I woke up at 9pm to discover I had missed all the television coverage, since any election day is like my own personal Christmas: 25.
Number of times I have since searched on-line, unsuccessfully, for Rodney MacDonald's concession speech: about 500.

Number of years Darrell Dexter served as NDP leader before finally becoming Premier: 8.
Number of times he has done the Balki Bartokomous "Dance of Joy" since June 9: 1539.

Percentage of Nova Scotians who voted: 58.8%.
Percentage of Nova Scotians who will moan and complain about the government, whether or not they bothered to contribute to the process of choosing it: 100%.

Number of MLAs who have law degrees: at least 4, including the new Premier.
Number who are professional actresses: 1.
Number who are teachers: 11.
Number who are teachers that can simultaneously play the fiddle, step dance, address David Letterman, and lead our province: 0 (to my knowledge, at least).

By my count, the number of cabinet ministers who were defeated in their riding: 9.
By the NDP: 8.
By the Liberals: 1.
By the track record of their own government: 9.

Number of people I know in Richmond County who did not vote for Michel Samson: 0.

Number of female members of the new legislative assembly, a record in Nova Scotia: 12.
Number of those who are eligible for a cabinet appointment: 9.
Number of those who have appeared topless on television: 1.
Combined, the number of times Carolyn Bolivar-Getson and Judy Streach will consider auditioning for "The "L" Word" before the next election, potentially: at least 10.

Number of races where the winner was decided by less than 200 votes: 3.
Number of votes separating the two top contenders in Cape Breton North: 164.
Number of beads on the abacus Cecil Clark used to count his lucky stars when the other guy decided not to bother with a recount: approximately 16 million.

Amount of money, in dollars, that Ernie Fage will receive in severance pay since losing his seat: 67,000.
Amount of money, in dollars, that Ernie Fage will receive annually for his pension: 52,000.
Number of times I threw up after reading those figures: 6.
Number of minutes it took me to figure out where Mr. Fage would likely spend a nice chunk of that money: less than 2.

Of three, the number of party leaders who admitted to watching the hockey game election night: 3.
Number of Nova Scotians who cared more about game 6 than the election: most, based on voting numbers.
Number of people who would probably vote Sidney Crosby for Premier if he let them touch the Stanley Cup: too many.

Number of times I'll steal a format done so beautifully by Adam Cooke: 1, and you're looking at it.