Political Potpourri

I enjoy politics, I can't help it. If you can bear with me for one more week of ranting, I promise to drop it once and for all. Probably.

Just a few words about the U.S. Vice Presidential debate, if I may.

Joe Biden and Sarah Palin threw down and entertained us all with a few hours of sound bites, as the world media waited with baited breath for Palin to make as much of a mockery of herself as she did in her interview with Katie Curic. However, much to the shock and disbelief of hundreds of thousands of people, she actually held her own. Kind of.

I think it's more accurate to say she didn't embarrass herself as badly as she was expected to. But whatever, potato-pototto.

Even I was surprised at how she was able to string sentences together, though I didn't let my short-lived tolerance distract me from the real issue.

Matt Damon said it best when he described Sarah Palin's candidacy as a really bad Disney movie; a nice looking hockey mom from the back woods of Alaska inexplicably finds herself in the middle of the race for the Vice Presidency (I'm sure the screenplays are rolling in already).

Part of me still can't grasp the reality that she's really there. How is it possible? John McCain took a huge risk and chose a less-than-mediocre running mate in what is arguably the most important election in the history of the United States.

But there she is, I have to deal with it. She just makes it so darn difficult!

"Ya no, doggone it, Jo - I'm jest wundrin' haw yer feancy peants ecka-nawmick pleans are gonna affect all the saccer mams up thare in little ol' Wassilly-a, ya no, whare I was the mayer fer a spell."

Ok, maybe that wasn't a direct quote, but I bet I could have convinced you it was.

I get the whole "trying-to-relate-to-regular-people" concept that all the candidates are trying so desperately to capture, but Palin is way too over the top. Based on her statements up to this point, she's already got a long road to hoe in terms of convincing the American public that the fate of their nation is safe in her hands, but I don't think dumbing herself down with this "folksy" routine is doing her any favors in the long run, either. Not only are the people of Alaska rolling their eyes every time she opens her mouth, but it's uncomfortable to watch for the rest of us, too. It's great comedy, but it's funnier to see a skit about her being an unqualified hillbilly on Saturday Night Live, than it is to watch her prove it in real time on CNN. Scary stuff.

She's pretty foxy, though. You never know - if this whole White House thing doesn't work out, maybe Larry Flynt...oh, nevermind.

On to local beefs.

This will be my first election as a citizen of Port Hawkesbury, and I was so looking forward to hearing from the candidates running for Council here in town. A pamphlet, a phone call, something.

The only person to have communicated with me in any capacity is a man who left a "sorry I missed you" card, even though I was looking at him through my kitchen window. How's that for effective campaigning?

Where were the campaigns? Is it me being out of the loop, or a serious lack of visibility by the people running for municipal council? I'm ready, willing and anxious for a politician to ask for my support, but at this point I have no idea who to vote for. Were it not for information in this newspaper, I wouldn't even know who is running. I need a candidate to tell me what they stand for, what they plan to do, and why I should vote for them instead of someone else.

I invite the candidates to send me an e-mail outlining why they're the best person for the job, so I'll know who to vote for.

Finally, I'll dole out a little advice.

While I didn't see any municipal hopefuls at my door, I did have the pleasure of welcoming two of the federal candidates, whose names I will not mention.

Here's a few tips for your future campaigning endeavors: first, gross, white pasty things in the corners of your mouth tend to distract from any conversation about economic policy. And second, don't expect to be met with a lot of enthusiastic support when you show up at someone's door after 9pm on a Tuesday, especially when all the lights are off because everyone was in bed.

Happy elections!